


Head Above Water

by athousandfaces



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: -ON BREAK-, Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Emo Loki, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fucked up parents, He's still in college, I found the meaning of life in writing angsty thorki poetry, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, In some chapters, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Or however that works, Slow Burn, They don't know it, Thor and Loki are half-brothers, Thor's POV, Thorki - Freeform, Thorki Secret Santa 2019, Top Thor (Marvel), bc I refuse to believe that it‘s abandoned, brat Loki, but alas, he so smart, in different forms (it's not graphic tho), junior CEO Thor, punk loki, ummmm what now, writer and artist Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:41:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21993892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athousandfaces/pseuds/athousandfaces
Summary: When Thor Borson participates in a charity project to sweeten the time before christmas for children in hospitals and nursing homes, he wouldn't have thought to meet his fellow student Loki Ymirson there, wildly known partygoer and kind of a slut.Nonetheless, Thor is drawn towards him from the beginning, getting closer to the paradox man during their weeks of working with each other and falling for him head first.What neither of them would've expected, though, is that their families are even more fucked up than they already thought. Or rather, that they aren't two different families at all._____________________-THIS IS ON BREAK-I‘m sorry, but I have to wait until my inspiration comes back to continue writing (even though I already have the entire plotline and the epilogue wtf)
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 53
Kudos: 54
Collections: Thorki Secret Santa 2019, Thorki_of_mine





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Deraniel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deraniel/gifts).



> I don't know how this has happened, but I accidentally created a slow burn, at least that's how I think of it now.  
> It's based on @Deraniel's Secret Santa prompts  
> 1\. Thor finds Loki crying and comforts him and  
> 2\. Loki and Thor meet after several years, don’t recognize each other and have some fun.  
> It's gotten much longer than I thought it would, so I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> PS: I wrote everything in this fic myself, so don't be surprised if the characters' make song references that don't exist irl xD  
> also, this is unbeta‘d

_Once upon a time, there were two princes, born by different mothers into different lives._

_Their father, the king, called a beautiful palace his home, where he lived with his queen and crown prince._

_When the crown prince was still a baby, the king did what most kings do: he fooled around with another woman, allowing himself the delicious joy of holding a beating heart in his hands before ripping it apart._

_The woman gave birth to his second son, a prince in his own right, but the king didn’t want them in his palace, so he sent them away._

_While the crown prince grew up in the sunlight, lacking nothing, the younger one was raised in the shadows, neither remembering the palace, nor this distant family._

_Oh, how he wished for them to come and get him! To take him in like a long-lost child!_

_Instead, he and his mother were found by a cruel giant who held them captive in his cave._

_The younger prince got used to the darkness, buried the tales about a palace and king deep inside him, watched his mother become one with the shadows, braced himself against the freezing coldness in their cave and against the giant’s fury, blow after blow._

_There were days where he couldn’t remember the light at all. Couldn’t remember how his mother’s voice sounded when she’d sung him lullabies, when she’d whispered to him of places so far away, so mysterious that nobody had ever been there. Couldn’t remember his own excitement, his wish to see them all, to leave this cave and never look back._

_But sometimes, the prince would remember. His chest would throb with pain and he’d turn his face towards the entry, the stonewalls closing in, leaving no room to breathe, making him fight against his chains._

_With his eyes trained onto the sliver of blue sky outside, he would remember how much he longed for the sun._

_Loki Ymirson, 14, literature contest in 8_ _th_ _grade_

xxxxxxxxxx

Thor woke up with a headache, his alarm blaring insistently for the fourth time this morning.

Luckily, he didn’t have a roommate because he would probably get in trouble for this if another student had to endure it – although, now that he thought about it, the walls in the dormitory weren’t that thick, so maybe he was already annoying the shit out of his next door mates.

With a defeated sigh, he patted along his nightstand to switch on the light so that he couldn’t fall back asleep – not that he was unable to sleep with light on – and to finally turn off that horrible nuisance.

Groaning, Thor stretched his arms and legs, but when pain like an electrical impulse shot through his brain, he flinched and instantly brought up his hand to rub at his forehead.

What did he do to deserve this?

He’d had that headache since the fight with his dad on the day before and it just _wouldn’t leave._ Maybe an arteria had exploded because Thor had shouted too much.

Today was Friday, his economics day with a Spanish class in between, which he usually liked... but not today. He wished he could skip his classes and head to the gym instead to hit the punching bag until his knuckles were bruised.

While he heaved himself out of bed and mechanically went through his morning routine, he couldn’t stop the memories of that goddamn call yesterday.

Wasn’t it enough that Thor was majoring in _two_ subjects, learning a _third_ language, acing most of his classes, having rather successful boxing matches every now and then, and partaking in that upcoming charity project both for PR reasons and because he genuinely wanted to help? But no, it was never enough.

Angrily, Thor pushed his foot into his jeans, closing his eyes when a particularly vicious stab of pain assaulted his temple.

It was never enough because his father, as great of a man as he was, didn’t want to accept that Thor had an own heart to follow. And if that heart told him that he wanted to take Thialfi with him to the gala _Asgard Enterprises_ had hosted two days ago instead of one of the women his father had suggested, then he would do just that.

Of course, Thor couldn’t deny that it hurt and frustrated him that his father wouldn’t accept his choices. And that made him even more angry because he shouldn’t be hurt by this. His father was in the wrong here, not Thor.

Personally, Odin always said, he didn’t care if Thor liked men or women or both, he only cared about the image _Asgard_ had and how Thor’s actions reflected the company. And apparently, bringing a man to a business gala wasn’t good for that image, at least not before “officially coming out to the public”, and Thor shouldn’t make any further mistake in that regard before “a carefully redacted statement” was made about this.

For god’s sake, this was his private life, and he wasn’t royalty or anything. He shouldn’t have to explain anything to anyone, especially not when literally nothing had happened besides Thialfi hanging on his arm and politely making small talk.

With an angry frown and an untidy man-bun, Thor slammed the door behind him and searched his bag for the keys to lock it.

The things his father had said hadn’t been what had led to the shouting match, though; it’s been the fact that he had sent one of his PR men to suggest Thialfi better keeping himself covered and not coming near Thor again until “this mess” was sorted out.

That he dared-!

“I can’t fucking believe it,” Thor grumbled while heading down the hallway of the dormitory, only nodding to the fellow students who greeted him and being grateful for the ones who stayed silent and grumpy like himself because of the godawful hour. 7 am.

Of course, Thialfi had sent him a text that said they couldn’t see each other again, and Thor had honestly been fine with that – it had been nothing serious, after all, and Thor had assumed that the whole Rich People world was a little too much for him -, but after learning what the real reason was, Thor had been furious.

Hands deep down in his pockets to withstand the cold November air, Thor marched across the campus towards the little café that would be flooded with students in half an hour, which was the reason why he got up earlier to grab his coffee and breakfast there.

He would be useless for two more hours without caffeine and a few carbohydrates, and he couldn’t afford falling behind in his morning classes due to brain dysfunctions. The last three years of studying had taught him one thing: do not slack. Neither in economics, nor in business administration. Or Spanish, for that matter, _Asgard_ had enough international clients that speaking the language was absolutely necessary. Besides, Thor liked languages. At least one subject he actually had fun learning.

 _That’s not true,_ he tried to counteract himself. _It’s normal to not like every class you have. To acquire what you want, you just need to get your shit together and push through. Life’s not always fun._

That voice sounded so suspiciously like his father, though, that Thor clenched his jaw – and flinched because of the headache.

What a godawful morning.

The day didn’t exactly get better from then on.

Apparently, the one day in between the gala and today had been enough for a gossip magazine to report about him having been seen with a man at his side, so he was constantly accompanied by prying glances and whispers, sometimes not even a little subtle.

It wasn’t that Thor had hidden his bisexuality until now, all his friends and family members knew, and due to diverse parties that he’d left with people of diverse genders, many of his fellow students knew, too. It seemed to be something different, though, to read about it in a magazine that dramatically speculated about how _Asgard Enterprises_ and its CEO Odin Borson might handle his son’s “adventurous nature” and his “hunger that apparently can’t be sated by one gender alone”, even if it was printed right next to an article about some B level celebrity having a drug trip on a public toilet, and tips and tricks to give your sex life a seasonal fitting glow up (yes, it really included Christmas colored stockings).

Thor threw his bag under the desk in his lecture hall and let himself fall into his seat.

This whole ordeal was grating on his nerves, and slowly, Thor started to wonder whether his father hadn’t been right after all. Sure, him basically breaking up with Thialfi on the company’s behalf overstepped any boundaries in existence, but was it selfish of Thor to disregard Odin’s worry for _Asgard’_ s image? Should Thor have held himself back until the PR department had worked out a smooth way to break it to the public?

 _But it shouldn’t matter,_ a desperate voice in his head argued, and Thor sighed. No, it shouldn’t matter, but sadly, it did. Maybe at college the article would be forgotten in a week, his fellow students going back to their – mostly – calm acceptance that was so typical for them, but his father’s generation was another thing. _Asgard’_ s customers, business partners, reporters who did nothing else than leaning back and judging other people’s lives… maybe Thor really should’ve been more considerate.

A heavy weight settled onto his chest while he waited for the class to start, students filtering in around him.

“Is that seat free?” a girl asked, eyes flickering shyly away from him when he looked up.

“Sure,” he replied, and pulled his bag towards him to give her more space.

She smiled and quietly thanked him, eyes still lowered, and he couldn’t help the answering smile tugging at the corners of his mouth – until she pulled out a copy of that disgusting magazine.

Anger buzzed through his veins as he stared at the cover, colorful letters screaming about the content and the _scandals_ , and tried to decide whether he should simply get up and leave or risk snapping at a shy girl.

Said person cleared her throat quietly, and Thor directed his gaze towards her face.

A faint blush lay on her cheeks and she still refused to directly meet his eyes, but her jaw was set, and she was wearing a strangely determined expression.

“I…” she started, before she swallowed and tried again. “I just wanted to say that I’m really glad you didn’t hide that you were with Thialfi, even if they are writing bullshit about it now.”

Her blush intensified after the words were out, and Thor was simultaneously charmed and confused.

Did she know Thialfi? Thor was pretty sure his name hadn’t been printed.

He settled for a vague “Thank you…?” and hoped for an explanation, which he surprisingly got.

“I’m Roskva, Thialfi’s sister. He doesn’t know that I’m here – I don’t even take this class,” she mumbled, and Thor huffed out a laugh.

“Nice to meet you, Roskva, I’m Thor.”

“I know,” she snorted, and Thor wanted to go and hide in a hole. Right. She was the sister of the guy his father’s PR man had told to stay covered. Possibly per text. Great. Thanks, dad.

“So…” he carefully looked around, half hoping that his professor was already there, but of course she was not. “How is Thialfi?”

“Oh, he’s good,” Roskva replied lightly, and Thor snapped his head back, almost shocked. She wasn’t mad at how her brother had been treated? “Don’t get me wrong, your father is an asshole-,“ Thor furrowed his brow because yes, his dad _had_ been kind of an ass, but Thor didn’t tolerate people bad-mouthing him, “-but that’s not why I’m here.”

For the first time, she met his eyes, and despite her furious blush and the obvious discomfort it caused her, she didn’t flinch away this time.

“I’m here to say thank you because although you have to deal with all the gossip, Thialfi is so much more confident now. Because you took him with you without shame.”

Uncomfortably, Thor squirmed in his seat because what should he answer to that? Of course he’d taken her brother with him. Why not?

“And I only came here to tell you that because he was worrying the entire day, and I don’t like that.”

Genuinely touched, Thor bowed his head. “Thank you. Please tell Thialfi that I’m sorry. That wasn’t how I wanted it to end.”

Roskva, red as a tomato by now, hurriedly jumped up, now that her task was finished.

“You’re welcome. And now excuse me, I really have to leave.”

“Sure,” he grinned and lazily waved her goodbye, laughing to himself when she stumbled over her own feet on the way out.

What a nervous girl. But at the same time so brave, to come here and tell him about this, only to soothe her brother’s worrying heart and thank Thor. Not at all what he would have expected, but certainly what he needed right now.

Smiling to himself, Thor focused on the beginning lecture, and thought that maybe, all that upheaval had been worth it, even if he had to fight with his dad now. Because it wasn’t Thor who was in the wrong here.

In the evening, when he was done working on an essay about the differences of European and American economic systems that had irritated him for two weeks now, he did head to the gym, though.

Thor hadn’t worked out for nearly a week due to his workload, and he wouldn’t be able to do so tomorrow because it was the first day of the charity project he’d decided to support.

On the upcoming Saturdays until Christmas, people partaking in it would visit children’s hospitals and gift them stuffed animals, play with them, read them stories, and generally work on making them laugh because there was already so much pain and illness in their little lives.

While Thor assaulted the punching bag – slightly disappointed because none of his friends were here to train with him – he imagined how it would be playing with the children.

Would they be happy and giggling or quiet and sad? Would they even be physically able to have fun? Or would they all lie in their beds while the project members read stories to them and play games?

Gods, he hoped there would be some who he could toll around with, he was much better at everything physical than at the quiet things. 

The morning came, and after a ten-minute uber drive through scarce traffic and with a lot of newfound motivation, Thor strode into the building where the members of the project group would assemble before separating to their destinations.

Looking around, Thor noticed a woman behind a reception desk, and crossed the modern, otherwise empty lobby with a big smile.

“Good morning!”

“Good morning, Sir, how can I help you?” she answered, wearing a professionally friendly expression.

“I’m here for the children’s charity project, the ones with the hospitals.”

“Oh yes, one second, please,” she replied and pulled a list out of a drawer. “Have you already registered? If not, I’m afraid we need a few information before we can let you partake.”

“I’ve already registered,” Thor made a wavy movement with his hand, “Thor Borson.”

A moment of silence passed while she searched for his name. “Here. Borson, Thor, all registered. Perfect.” She looked up and tossed him a bright smile. “You can head into the second floor, then, the group will assemble in room 105.”

“Thank you,” he nodded before turning and searching for the right room.

When he got there, some people were already gathered, interrupting their chattering to turn towards him when he entered.

A blonde man crossed the room to greet him. “Welcome! I’m Steve Rogers. I’m leading the project since I started it a few years ago.”

He extended his hand and Thor shook it.

“A pleasure. I’m Thor Borson.”

“Oh yes, I was informed that the heir of _Asgard Enterprises_ would join us this year. We’re so glad to have you.”

Thor smiled, noticing real gratitude in Steve’s serious blue eyes.

“I’m happy to help.”

A quiet snort resounded from somewhere in the room, but when he let his gaze wander, Thor couldn’t make out the source.

Steve walked away to the front of the room where he readied a projector for some kind of presentation, and Thor resigned to mingle with the people until the assembly officially began. There seemed to be participants of every age, from his own to senior citizens.

His small talk with the group members was interrupted, though, when his eyes fell on a tall young man with black hair, wearing a bored expression while a woman was talking to him urgently.

Loki Ymirson.

What did he do here? Thor wouldn’t have thought him the type to bring gifts to sick children – but, on the other hand, Thor didn’t know that much about him besides that he was an excessive partygoer and kind of a slut. How Thor knew that? Because Loki’s reputation went ahead of him, and Thor had seen him on almost every frat or football party he’d been at, Loki always in different stages of drunk or high or both and rarely ever leaving alone. Oh, and Sif had threatened to beat up Thor’s ass if he should even think about his good looks – that he undeniably got - because, in her opinion, Loki was as slithery as a snake and an arrogant fucker. Would probably give him an STD, too. But Sif could be kind of harsh and judgy, so Thor didn’t pay her too much mind. Not to mention that he rarely left parties alone, too.

Loki and that woman were standing a little bit offside, clearly not part of the other people who mostly seemed to know each other from previous years.

Apparently, Thor had stared at him long enough to attract his attention because Loki turned his head and met Thor’s gaze straight on.

When Thor didn’t look away in shame but continued to study the man’s face, Loki raised a single black eyebrow, sizing him up in return, before turning back to the woman.

Huh. Thor would lie if he said he wasn’t intrigued, but before he could make his way over and officially introduce himself, Steve cleared his throat and asked for their attention.

Right. This was a charity project. For children. A great PR opportunity for him and _Asgard_ , especially after that gala. Where he’d brought a man with him. Time for careful steps now.

“Thank you so much for joining our project, ladies and gentlemen. This means so much to the children, previous years have shown what a great initiative it is. As you can see behind me,” Steve clicked on a remote in his hand and started a slideshow of photos of laughing children cuddling plush animals, smiling group members reading books and playing games, everyone together decorating a big Christmas tree, “it brings joy to children and adults alike, and helps carrying the Christmas Spirit to places where it’s sometimes missing.”

Another quiet snort, followed by a derisive “Christmas Spirit” snatched Thor’s attention, too low for Steve to hear, but loud enough for Thor to finally make out Loki as the source.

 _Why is he here if he thinks it’s ridiculous?_ Thor thought, suddenly angry on Steve’s behalf. The man was clearly kindhearted and passionate about his project, and nobody was forced to participate in it.

Pointedly, Thor turned his focus back on Steve.

“Since more people have joined us this year and we received a lot of donations, amongst others the generous one of _Asgard Enterprises_ ,” Thor bowed his head when the attention shifted to him, schooling his expression into that polite business-elite mask, “we’ve decided to not only visit children’s hospitals and nursing facilities, but also children’s homes. For today, we have these boxes over there,” he gestured, and everyone followed his movement to three big boxes next to a long table with papers, “filled with stuffed animals. These will be the gifts for the children today. You’ll head to different destinations in groups, each one taking a box with them. What more is there to say?” Steve pondered, locking eyes with a seemingly stoic man with shoulder-long brown hair. “Anything to add, Buck?”

The man shook his head.

“Great. Time to get to know each other, then!” Steve smiled, and Thor inwardly groaned.

Luckily, Steve’s idea of getting to know each other was to write your name on masking tape, put it on the front of your shirt, and give a short introduction such as “Hello, I’m Thor Borson, twenty-two, student at Vanaheim College”.

Thor half-heartedly listened to the others, only focusing again when Loki introduced himself. “My name is Loki Ymirson, twenty, going to Vanaheim College, too.”

He had a nice voice, Thor mused, deep and smooth and melodic.

After the last people had introduced themselves and Thor had already forgotten most of their names - thank god for the name tags -, Steve asked for their attention once more.

“There are lists on the table over there, one for everyone, giving an overview over the schedule of the following weeks and with whom you’ll work together. We’ve assorted both new and experienced people to every group, so hopefully, we all can help each other out and answer any questions. If not, my phone number is one the sheets, too.”

“What about cars?” Thor asked while accepting one of the lists another group member passed him. Sam Wilson.

“Oh yes, you’re right!” Steve exclaimed. “If you have a car and brought it with you, you can drive to the destination on your own if you wish. However, if you have no car, each core member of a group has one and is willing to drive. Do as you please!”

With this, the assembly started to dissipate, and Thor took a look at the list. Unsurprisingly, his group consisted of people he didn’t know yet – and Loki.

Thor tried really hard not to care, to stay completely neutral, but he was honestly excited that he’d have someone from his college in his group, someone he could talk to during the next Saturdays. He’d been a little afraid that none of his group members would be in a similar age, and he liked the thought of talking to the rumored young man.

“So, you’re Thor,” Sam grinned and slapped him on the back. Thor instantly liked him. He was in Thor’s group, too. “Steve couldn’t believe it when he received the donation, _Asgard_ really went out there.”

“It probably was nothing more than peanuts,” came the snarky reply from Thor’s side.

Loki had come a little closer, a displeased look on his face, eyes challenging.

“Excuse me?” Thor asked after he’d stared at the grumpy man for a moment, confused and slightly put off by the comment.

Before he got a reply, Sam started laughing and ushered them towards the door, the box with stuffed animals in his hands. “Yeah yeah, must be nice to have the cash. Especially if you can donate it for good causes, then. We’re always happy about every penny,” he grinned, and winked pointedly.

Thor laughed. “And here I thought my presence was the real support,” he joked, earning an appreciative glance from Sam.

“’Course it is, look at all that muscle, man! What are you, quarterback?”

“Used to be, back in high school. Got a little too much in college, though, with all the classes and papers.”

“Damn, how’d you hold that shape?”

Sam scrutinized his body and Thor laughed again. A sports man, then, or at least no stranger to working out.

“I’m still boxing, and the campus gym has opened 24 hours.”

“Boxing? Man, you need to throw some punches with Steve! He’s searching for a good boxing mate for an eternity now,” Sam chuckled, and Thor grinned.

“That’d be awesome.”

When Thor looked back, Loki was trudging behind them, apparently having zoned out and not at all interested in their conversation.

“And why are you participating here?” Thor asked, trying to change the subject and include Loki. Okay, and he was curious.

Sam coughed, and Loki threw the man a dark glare.

“Why are you?” Loki countered, raising an anticipatory eyebrow at Thor.

“Ummm well, I guess because I want to help? And this is a good opportunity?”

“Yeah, sure, and it has nothing to do with making good PR for your company,” Loki rolled his eyes, and Thor furrowed his brow.

“Most companies decide to support charity projects and host events to raise money. I don’t see why this should be bad.”

“I didn’t say it is. I only suggested that your reason to be here might not be as pure as you want it to seem.”

“Why would supporting charity projects not be ‘pure’?” Thor asked, becoming irritated. Loki really was difficult to talk to.

“If you’re seriously asking that question, I’m honestly fearing for your company.”

Thor stumbled.

Then, he turned and loomed over Loki, effectively blocking his path.

“Why would you say something like that? You don’t even know me,” Thor growled.

Loki’s eyes sparkled – very green eyes, mind you -, and he tilted his face slightly upwards, raising his chin. “I don’t need to know you to understand how capitalism works. Or PR. Do something good with a generous amount of money and people are inclined to forget what you did wrong. Show your golden heir playing with a few children, and people will go all starry-eyed. The privilege of the rich.”

Baffled, Thor searched Loki’s face for any explanation of this hostility, but he only found spite and anger.

“Maybe that’s true,” Thor conceded, and noticed with satisfaction how Loki’s eyes widened in surprise. “But sometimes, people just want to help. And if they have the money for it, great, that’s a big support for projects like this. Pure reasons or not, the outcome is good. As simple as that.”

Loki gazed at him silently, a crease forming between his brows.

It looked as if he wanted to add something, when Sam, who had brought the box to his car and placed it in the trunk, urged them to hurry up. “Come on, have your staring contests later at campus, we need to get going!”

With a huff, Thor turned away and headed towards the car, too.

“Where are the others?”

“Already there. Get in! You, too, punk!” Sam hollered towards Loki, who sent him an even angrier glare than before.

When they got in, Thor in the front seat and Loki in the back, Thor couldn’t resist watching the younger man in the side mirror.

Loki had crossed his arms, long legs only just fitting in the space between the seats. With his tight black jeans, leather jacket, and green shirt underneath, he really looked like a punk, although a fashionable one. Thor was curious if that had only been a nickname or was rooted in reality.

The car ride was filled with Sam’s loud and enthusiastic chatter and Thor’s booming laugh, occasionally interrupted by a sarcastic comment from Loki.

Thor quickly learned that Sam thought the world of Steve, not so much of Bucky who apparently was Steve’s insufferable sidekick, that he was a passionate football fan, and had quite the workout routine he tried to follow every second day. 

Loki, on the other hand, was quiet – and still grumpy -, but remarkably witty, although his comments were dripping with snark.

But Thor _would_ learn to get along with him. If they wanted to make the children laugh, they needed to be in a good mood themselves. He’d find a way to lift Loki’s mood, too.

When they arrived at the hospital, which was no children’s hospital but had an own children’s station, Thor volunteered in carrying the box, and shortly after entering the building, they finally rejoined their other group members - two middle-aged women, Anne and Katherine.

“There you are,” Katherine exclaimed and smiled towards them. “I thought you might’ve gone lost on the way. Wouldn’t have surprised me”, she added, and winked in Sam’s direction.

“Hey!” he roared, and she laughed.

Her laugh was contagious, and Thor couldn’t help but grin; even Loki smirked, having shed his sulky behavior for a more pleasant expression.

“We’ve already announced our arrival, so we can head up to the third floor immediately,” Anne butted in, already turning towards the elevator. The others followed suit.

“Ummm.” Thor cleared his throat. “I’m going to take the stairs. With the big box and all,” he laughed awkwardly, and hoped that nobody would question him.

With determined strides, he headed towards the stairwell. Whatever they were going to think, nobody would get him into an elevator anyway.

Thor used his elbow to push the door open and started climbing the stairs.

The box didn’t weigh much, but it was bulky and made it hard to see where he was going.

So, when he was at the end of another flight of stairs, completely having lost count which floor it was, he looked around to find a sign – apparently, he was on the second floor - and was surprised to notice a little girl on the stairs above him, staring at him with wide eyes and fiercely hugging a beaten-up plush rabbit to her chest.

“Hey there,” Thor smiled, purposely keeping his voice low and trying to make it softer to not scare her. “Are you waiting for someone?”

She silently shook her head, pressing her face into the stuffed animal.

“Okay,” he gently said, and shifted the weight of the box in his arms to be able to look at her fully. She wore pajamas, so she had to be a patient.

“Do you want to come up with me back to the station? My friends and I have brought something for you all that you’ll surely like.”

That got him a curious glance, the girl studying the box he was carrying, but she still shook her head.

“Okay,” Thor repeated, and tried to think of what best to do.

He couldn’t get that big box past her, and if he told her to move aside, he would maybe scare her for real. Besides, she seemed to be alone here, probably wandering around on her own without people knowing where she was. Thor looked down. She didn’t even wear slippers, and the marble stairs were definitely too cold at that time of the year to wander about on socks.

“Do you want to tell me where you’re going?” he inquired with a smile.

“Home,” she whispered, and hugged her rabbit even closer.

Gods, she looked so lost, standing there all small and scared. What was she, six?

“Home, huh?”, he asked, and she watched him carefully. “What’s your name?”

She considered him a moment. “My mum says I mustn’t tell strangers my name.”

“That’s good,” Thor nodded, amazed that she would remember such a thing. “You really shouldn’t. Is it okay if I call you… Elsa, then?” That was she first Disney princess name that had come to his mind, and apparently, it was a hit because the girl lit up and nodded.

“Okay, Elsa. I have to ask for your help,” he tried and schooled his face into an earnest expression. “I already said that I have something for all the kids here in this box, right?”

Elsa nodded, again looking at it curiously.

“I don’t know where the other children are, I need someone to show me the way. Would you do that for me?”

Elsa’s expression was thoughtful for a moment. “Do you not know where the lounge is?”

“No, sadly, I don’t,” Thor grimaced and sighed.

Another moment passed and he held his breath.

Finally, Elsa nodded. “I’ll show you. I can go home after that.”

“Thank you,” Thor beamed, and Elsa smiled.

Then, she turned around and started climbing the stairs, Thor trudging behind her and giving care to not knock her over with the box in front of him.

“So, you know where everything is here?” he asked to keep her talking.

“Yes,” she piped up from somewhere in front of him, “I’m here for so long! I know where everything is, and I know the others.”

“That’s impressive,” he replied, and they headed through the door into the hall of the third floor.

The typical smell of hospital hit his nose, and Thor took a deep breath to get used to it as quickly as possible. Suppressing a shiver, he imagined being stuck here as a kid and was convinced that he would’ve tried to run away as soon as possible.

He set the box down and looked at Elsa. A few feet away stood the others, watching the two of them curiously. “You have been such a big help, Elsa!” he grinned, and she giggled.

“Becky!” a nurse exclaimed, walking towards them with quick steps. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be waiting with the other children in the lounge?”

Becky, apparently, looked down at her feet, and Thor had the urge to save her from a lecture. 

“Oh, she was just helping me to find the way,” he explained, and picked the box back up when the nurse was ushering Becky and him towards the others down the hall.

“Really?” the nurse answered, her look in Thor’s direction telling him that she knew exactly what Becky had been doing. “That is great, Becky, then we can all join the others together.”

The girl looked at him over her shoulder, and Thor smiled encouragingly.

When every child on the station had picked or been given a plush, they scattered around the lounge, some chattering excitedly or playing children’s games with the project members, some staying huddled together, wary of the strangers. Some children were too ill to come out of their rooms, so they would visit them later, handing them plushies and reading to them.

There was an age range from four to thirteen, the latter a youngster whose tonsils had been removed and who was clearly too cool to pick a stuffed animal.

What Thor hadn’t expected, though, was Elsa – no, Becky – handing the teen her own plushie because she “already had Mr. Rabbit” and she didn’t want him to have none. How could a kiddo be that sweet? Thankfully, the teen had not been too cool to play along and at least act happy about the animal.

After they had been present for nearly one and a half hours and the kids got used to them, they started getting over their shyness and including the project members into games and conversations on their own.

While Loki was sitting in front of a few kids and read them a book full of children’s rhymes, Thor was assaulted by two rowdy preschoolers who were brave enough to ask him to whirl them around.

After a questioning glance towards the only present nurse and her nod, he picked them up, threw them up into the air – not too high, he was no idiot – and spun them around, eliciting loud screeches of laughter from them.

“More!” demanded the cheeky freckled boy when he sat him down after round he-didn’t-know-how-many, and Thor collapsed theatrically on the ground, a hand over his forehead.

“I can’t,” he wheezed, and the children around him – now more than two - giggled. “I can’t, I’m too exhausted.”

A girl flopped down beside him, imitating his graceless downfall, and he had to laugh himself.

He looked up and saw Loki watching him, wearing an unconscious smile.

Thor’s breath caught. This smile gave his face a much softer expression, making him look younger and more innocent than his brooding appearance. He was really pretty.

A girl was sitting in his lap, hugging her new teddy bear, and tugged on his arm to continue his reading.

When Loki became aware of his own staring, he schooled his face back into a carefully blank mask and returned to the book, but he couldn’t hide the faint blush across his cheeks.

Maybe the little punk wasn’t as bad as it first had seemed.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't wanna give chapter summaries :( you won't get 'em.  
> BUT this features Sif, Fandral, and of course our precious lil baby Loki
> 
> Oh btw, Loki only had a diary until he was 15

_Mum hasn’t gotten out of bed for three days now._

_I know, she’s been like that for years, but it’s bad at the moment._

_We have no more food, and while I would go grocery shopping, Farbauti doesn’t give me any money because he either boozes it all or simply laughs, ‘as if I would give you any more cash, be grateful I haven’t kicked you out yet, fag.’_

_I’m used to his hostility, but what do I do now? I’m hungry._

_Amora has taken me home with her yesterday, so my stomach isn’t completely empty, but what about tomorrow? About the day after?_

_I’m not even sure mum would go outside, even if she’d get up, because her side still hurts. Maybe a rib is broken._

_I hate him so much. So, so much. If it wasn’t for her, I would be gone in the blink of an eye, but I can’t leave her alone with him._

_Excerpt from Loki Ymirson’s diary_

xxxxxxxxxxx

Tuesday rolled around, and Thor was finding himself at lunch with Sif and Fandral.

They had seated themselves at a picnic table in the park next to the campus, ignoring the chill temperatures in favor of soaking up a few weak sun beams and breathing in the fresh air. Occasionally, a student wandered past them, but otherwise, only the sound of wind rustling through the trees could be heard besides their comfortable conversation. At least, that’s how it had started, but catching up with each other also included unpleasant topics.

“So, you’ve not spoken to your dad again after that?” Sif asked, staring at him angrily, brows furrowed.

She was a lesbian, so Thor’s father’s behavior left her enraged, although even she wouldn’t dare to openly antagonize him. Her mum and dad were working for _Asgard_ , too, as were Fandral’s, and although they pitied Thor for the restrictions he had to endure as future CEO and were angry on his behalf, they were also glad that they didn’t have the same problems as him.

They had never been shouted at for partying until the morning where paparazzi had found and photographed them with obscene drawings and words painted across their faces – really, as if this town had nothing better to do than stalk a simple business heir -, they had never caused PR catastrophes because they accidentally - and totally not out of a furious rage - had broken their boxing partner’s jaw, they could go out into the public with everyone they wanted, if they were invited to a gala, they even were allowed to bring their partners no matter what gender. And Thor didn’t envy them that; sometimes he just wished it was the same for him.

“No, I haven’t,” he replied after wolfing down half his sandwich in one bite. “He sent me a text telling me to attend another gala in a month with a woman or no partner at all, though, to let things settle down before I ‘make a ruckus again.’” Thor used his fingers to make air-quotes, and Sif huffed.

“I swear, I’m gonna use every opportunity possible to make out with Val before his eyes.”

Thor and Fandral laughed.

“Not sure Odin would tolerate her, though,” Fandral teased, “she’d probably drink half the champagne and then beat up his ass for being a homophobic coward.”

“As she should!” Sif exclaimed, and looked so proud of her girlfriend that Thor felt better immediately.

“He’s no homophobe, though,” Thor said, somehow unable to stop defending his father every time. “He’s just worried that we’ll lose those conservative and bitch ass homophobic business partners.”

Sif gave him A Look. “Don’t play dumb, Thor. If he’s standing more behind his homophobic partners than behind his own son, he’s as much of a homophobe as they are.”

Thor wasn’t sure if he completely agreed with that, but he also wasn’t willing to argue anymore about this. It didn’t change anything at all.

“How was that project on Saturday, by the way?” Fandral rescued him, and Thor gratefully launched into a summary of the day.

“And y’know, this kid that I’d called Elsa, she told me that if she is the ice queen, I could be the guy with the moose and Loki could be Anna,” he laughed, remembering Loki’s amused smile and Elsa’s giggle when Loki had started to sing _Do You Want To Build A Snowman?_.

He couldn’t be so bad, Thor had decided, if he wanted to make the children happy, even if he’d continued provoking Thor as soon as they got back into the car.

“Wait, Loki?” Fandral inquired and raised his brows. “As in: Loki Ymirson?”

Sif narrowed her eyes, and Thor knew he was up for some lecturing.

“Yeah, he’s in my project group, too. I have the feeling he kinda hates me, but at least he’s sweet with the children.”

“Oh, is he?” Fandral grinned. “I’ve heard he’s quite _sweet_ somewhere else, too.”

He laughed at his joke, but Sif cut in immediately.

“Yes, if you equal ‘sweet’ with ‘riding everyone’s dick’ and ‘always drunk as fuck’, I guess you’re right.”

“Then he must be experienced,” Fandral laughed it off, and Sif’s face got even darker. “Maybe he knows some interesting tricks.”

“Stop it,” Thor laughed, suddenly somewhat uncomfortable with the direction the conversation took.

Fandral raised his hands and playfully retreated. “You already laid a claim on him? Damn, that was quick.” 

Thor snorted and shook his head, but Sif wasn’t so easily appeased. 

She angrily stared at the remains of her bagel and said: “I heard he was in big trouble with the police.”

That silenced the both of them, directing their full attention to Sif’s displeased face.

“What happened?” Fandral asked with hungry eyes, always receptive to the newest gossip.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, and picked at the bread in front of her. “But everyone knows that he’s a troublemaker. He’s partying until he blacks out or wakes up in someone else’s bed, takes drugs, skips classes. Once, he got kicked out of a class we’d had together because he wouldn’t stop fighting with the professor. He has a bad reputation, Thor, everyone knows he’s good for quick fun, but will leave you in the morning. He’s just like that.”

A few seconds of silence passed. “Do you know him?” Thor asked.

Sif stared at him confusedly.

“I mean, did you ever talk to him? In person?”

“Not more than a few words,” she admitted, the crease between her brows getting deeper.

“Then you don’t know anything besides what other people are telling about him. Gossip,” he added disdainfully, and Sif sighed.

“All I try to say is that you should be careful, Thor. You’ve just had a big fight with your dad because you brought a man with you to a gala, and Thialfi’s been an angel. Loki… Loki means trouble. If you don’t believe anything else, then at least believe this.”

Two weeks passed, and Thor realized that Sif was right. Loki did mean trouble, but only because Thor was so damn susceptible for his own foolishness.

Loki had been much more pleasant to be around on the following two Saturdays, although he’d found a hobby in provoking Sam and bickering with Thor, but the latter didn’t mind too much. Actually, Thor wasn’t sure if it didn’t border on flirting, which he also wouldn’t mind too much, if he was honest. 

It seemed that Loki thoroughly enjoyed outwitting Thor and commenting on his Rich Kid behavior - as if Loki was any less annoying; on the contrary, he was an incredible brat, and sometimes Thor had a hard time to not snap and shake some sense into him.

To Thor’s own detriment, he noticed developing an unintended fascination with the raven-haired man. The way he walked and talked caught Thor’s eye, how hard he tried to stay composed, his cutting and smart remarks when he thought someone was in the wrong, be his tone inappropriate or not. Thor was charmed by the gentle way Loki interacted with the children, by his velvety laugh, and amused by the times Thor spied him on campus where Loki pretended to have never seen him in his life and swaggered towards his next class or the library.

He seemed so strangely… paradox.

Thor knew that when he didn’t take care, he would be in Big Shit. 

And yet, when Friday came again and he saw Loki heading towards the library, face buried in a big scarf and shoulders hunched against the cold wind, Thor spontaneously decided to visit the library, too, and start working on his Spanish assignment that he’d just gotten today.

With big strides, he stepped through the entrance and looked around, moving towards the tables in a quiet corner.

Because of his natural dislike of silently sitting down and learning, the library wasn’t Thor’s favourite place-to-be, but he had to admit that it was beautiful. In contrast to most department’s interior design, almost everything here was made out of wood, surfaces polished and gleaming, book shelves reaching up under the high ceiling, arched windows letting in sunlight that didn’t quite manage to battle the heavy atmosphere of dust, knowledge, and concentration.

Loki had already chosen a seat, leather jacket hanging over the backrest and headphones in his ears.

He was currently unloading his bag, pulling out different books, pens and a big notebook.

Thor walked up to him and flopped down on the chair on the other side of the table.

“May I sit here?” he asked while already unpacking his bag.

Disbelieving, Loki pulled one earbud out and blinked at him. “ _What_ are you doing here, Thor?”

With a chuckle, Thor looked up to meet Loki’s gaze. “Ahh, so you remember me. I was almost worried.”

“What? Of course, I remember you.”

“Hmm, I wasn’t sure, since you acted as though we’d never met every time I saw you on campus.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Oh, please excuse me, I wasn’t aware that I was obliged to greet you when I notice you strutting around.”

“So, you did notice me,” Thor grinned and leaned back.

“Not. The. Point.” Loki enunciated very clearly and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” asked Thor, wondering what the other man would want to hear.

“What are you doing here?” Loki repeated impatiently, another eye roll following his question.

“Working on my assignment, obviously.”

That got him another incredulous stare before Loki looked around pointedly. “And you are sitting here because…?”

Thor didn’t need to turn around to see that most tables here were empty. He shrugged. “Because I want to.”

Loki searched his face for a moment, then sighed annoyedly, although he couldn’t hide the upwards tilt of his lips. “Fine. But if you disturb me, I will have you kicked out, big Thor Borson or not.”

Grinning, Thor pulled his book towards him, and replied “I won’t. Promise.” He would.

After an hour, when Thor was almost done with the assignment, he started to slow down and watch Loki working.

He seemed to take literature classes, if his books were anything to go by.

Obviously focusing hard on whatever he was writing, he bit his lip and let his hand fly across the page, line after line.

“Like what you’re seeing?” Loki teased when Thor didn’t stop staring, but continued writing without looking up.

Feeling cheeky, Thor decided to play along. “Quite.”

“Really?” Loki murmured, giving his voice that velvety tone, and looking up through his lashes. “And here I thought you weren’t the type to be seduced by literature.”

Thor smiled lazily, eyes resting on that pretty face. “Hmm, maybe that depends on the literature. What are you working on?”

“A transformative work based on one of Shakespeare’s poems.”

“Oh,” he said, leaning closer curiously. “Which one?”

Loki gave him a doubtful glance, as if he didn’t believe Thor would know it. “Sonnet 55.” 

He’d been right.

“Is that the actual name?” Thor grimaced, and Loki grinned.

“It doesn’t have a name, it’s part of a poem collection.”  
“Oh, okay… what’s it about?”

Seeming to think about the answer, Loki lowered his eyes and smiled, small and private.

“About the image of a lover that will persist longer than all monuments through this poem. Shakespeare basically made him immortal through his words, as long as we still read these verses.”

That thought was admittedly very cute, even though Thor wasn’t such a fan of literature, especially not the old one. He was more of a practical thinker, a knowing-by-doing guy, although that didn’t mean he couldn’t sit down and learn if necessary. It just cost him more effort than it probably cost Loki.

“That sounds cool,” he replied.

With a snort, Loki continued to write.

“So…” Thor interrupted him again, receiving a withering glare. “Are you majoring in literature?”

“No, in journalism,” Loki said, only the barest hitch in his writing.

“Wow, journalism,” Thor mumbled, and thought about his own stumbled attempts to write anything even remotely creative in high school. “You must be really good with words, then.”

A smirk appeared on Loki’s lips. “You think so?”

Did Thor only imagine it or did Loki sound insecure underneath his sarcasm?

“Well, you certainly have a sharp tongue,” Thor grinned, picking up his pen and starting to spin it in his hand. “It’s not a wide stretch to assume that you have a talent for language.”

“Hmm,” came the noncommittal hum, face unreadable. “What about you? Speaking of languages,” Loki nodded towards Thor’s books. “I thought you’d take over your company one day?”

“I will,” Thor confirmed, “that’s why I take a few Spanish classes. We have many customers and partners in Spanish speaking areas. It’s always better to not have to rely on a translator. Besides, I like languages,” he added like an afterthought, watching with amusement that Loki seemed taken aback. “What, you didn’t think I actually learned?” he joked, referring to Loki’s dig last week that Thor could probably simply buy his degree if he failed his finals.

“Exactly,” Loki huffed, and returned to his paper once again.

Taking that as a sign, Thor focused on his own assignment, too, and finished it as good as possible. One less thing to worry about, then.

When he raised his eyes again, he found Loki already watching him thoughtfully.

“What?” Thor smiled, gaze steadily lying on the younger man and simply waiting when he got no answer.

There was silence for a few seconds, before Loki put his pen down and searched for something in Thor’s face.

“Why did you come here?”

This time, the question seemed much more serious, not filled with Loki’s unreasonable spite and anger, and Thor considered it earnestly.

“I was curious. Who you are,” he added, when he felt that his words didn’t quite express what he tried to say.

“Who I am?” the other man repeated, flicking his hair over his shoulder. “Don’t you already know?”

“How would I?”

“Everyone seems to know,” Loki murmured, gaze fixed on his paper and far away.

Thor’s chest tightened at this unexpected vulnerability, and he thought about all the gossip that had accompanied himself for such a long time now.

“But do they?” Thor asked, and Loki’s eyes snapped back to him, his face so achingly young for a moment, before the expression shattered and was replaced by a sneer.

“I guess they know me as good as they know you and your ‘adventurous nature’.”

That damn article. Of course, the brat would bring it up now.

“Nothing wrong with being yourself,” Thor growled, and leaned away from Loki, directing his glare at the shelves nearby. A young woman startled when she accidentally met his gaze, and hurried out of sight.

“Of course not,” Loki grinned, a malicious glint in his eyes at having found a weakness. “Even if you are a slut.”

“Takes one to know one,” Thor snapped, and could have bitten his tongue the next moment.

Contrary to his expectations, the younger one didn’t get angry or was hurt but started laughing instead.

What was so funny? Did he _mean_ to get this kind of reaction from Thor?

“You are an imp,” Thor grumbled when Loki was slowly calming down, but it didn’t seem to faze him at all. He was grinning down at his books, picking his pen back up.

A comfortable quiet settled between them.

Thor watched the sky getting darker and darker, and pondered what Loki had told him earlier. 

Going by the comments the last times they’d met, Loki didn’t like rich people, so maybe he was passionate about social injustice? Maybe he wanted to get a degree that would allow him to openly call out big businesses’ dirty laundry?

Thor’s gaze returned to the younger one, and while he wondered whether he would get an answer to that if he asked or whether he should simply go back to his dormitory and let the man work in peace, Loki sighed and pointedly put down his pen. “Just spit it out. The gears turning in your head are disturbing anyway.”

Ignoring the snarky jibe, Thor voiced his thoughts. “Why are you majoring in journalism? Do you want to specify in political or socio-humanistic journalism?”

That seemed to surprise Loki. “I’m not sure yet. Why?”

“I just thought-… why are you doing it, then?”

That got him another of these unreadable expressions.

When Thor had already given up on expecting an answer and started gathering his things, Loki replied “Because I want to see the world.”

Curiously, Thor gazed at him again, although he didn’t halter in packing his bag. It had gotten late.

“Maybe it’s stupid, but I want to travel far away, see all the places and cultures others only read about… and journalism seemed a good enough way to be able to do that and still make money.”

“I don’t think it’s stupid at all,” Thor replied, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “It’s actually a very good reason. If I was any better with words and wouldn’t have _Asgard_ …” he trailed off, lost in thought for a moment. He hoped he would be able to travel for his company, too. To see all the different people and countries, the landscapes and buildings along the way.

After a moment, he caught himself and smiled down on Loki, who watched him with intelligent eyes. “Anyway, I need to get going. It’s almost completely dark outside – don’t you wanna go home, too?”

Did Loki live in one of the dormitories?

“No…” Loki murmured, gaze becoming distant again and fixing on his assignment. Then, he snapped back into reality. “I’m going to stay here a little longer and continue working on it. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see ya tomorrow, Loki.”

Thor turned and left the library without looking back.

He didn’t have to, though. He felt Loki’s eyes burning into his back until he was out of sight. 

Like every Saturday, they were assembled in the charity project building and prepared for the day.

Thor was looking up every time he heard footsteps, expecting Loki to join them, but he seemed to be late today.

They were almost ready with everything, having gathered colorful cardboard, glitter, crayons, scissors, and all sorts of similar stuff for children’s homes and nursing stations today, when Loki trudged inside the room, a dark expression on his face and hands shoved deep inside the pockets of his leather jacket.

Steve looked up when the black-haired boy walked past him and sighed.

Loki only replied with a challenging glare and mockingly raised an eyebrow, before he joined them and looked into the box standing in front of them.

Steve’s eyes were hefted on Loki’s back, a slight crease between his brows, and Thor had to agree with him.

What was up with Loki? Yesterday he’d seemed to be alright, but now he was back to his passive-aggressive appearance that he’d shown on the first meeting.

“There you are,” Thor greeted him, but he, too, only got a scowl in response.

“Well, now that we’re all here, we can get going,” Steve announced, and confusedly, Thor watched Loki turning away and swaggering out of the room that he’d entered only a minute ago.

“What’s up with the punk again? Sometimes I think he’s purposely difficult,” Sam complained while Thor hoisted up the box, and he noticed a strange sort of eye contact between Steve and Sam that he latter ended with a nod.

Paying closer attention, Thor noticed Bucky staring after Loki intently with his typical brooding expression.

What was going on?

They only caught up with Loki at the car, where he was leaning and deeply inhaling the smoke of a cigarette.

“I hope that’s no illegal stuff,” Sam joked, but instead of laughing, Loki glowered at him again.

“And if it was, what’d you do? Call the cops?”

“Easy there, punk,” Sam replied, “not my fault you’re here.”

Thor put the box in the trunk of the car and furrowed his brow again. Not his fault? Of course not, how could it be?

Anne and Katherine were already leaving in Anne’s car, not wanting to be squished inside Sam’s Ford.

When the three of them were seated, tense silence stretched, Thor carefully looking into the mirror and checking Loki’s face as Sam took off in the direction of the children’s home they were going to visit.

Loki stared out of the window, wearing the blank expression Thor strongly disliked because it made it so hard to read him. Admittedly, Thor wasn’t great at reading people.

“Stop staring at me,” Loki snapped, and Thor directed his eyes out of front window again.

“You are in a terrible mood today,” he mumbled, completely missing Sam’s resigned expression.

“No surprise, given I have to spend it with you,” came the aggressive reply, and disbelievingly, Thor turned in his seat.

Angry green eyes stared at him, but Thor didn’t budge. “Oh, yes? If you hate being here so much, why bothering with it?”

“We can’t all give people money to solve our problems!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Thor growled, slowly getting really riled up because Loki was constantly implying that Thor somehow needed to hide some corpses in his basement.

“Guys,” Sam tried, but they paid him no mind.

“What do you think it means? Did you really think I like sticking around with boring, old people believing in ‘the Christmas Spirit’ and an arrogant jock?”

“Careful there,” warned Sam, and Loki glared out of the window again.

Thor stared at him for a few more seconds before turning back and glaring out of the window, too.

He’d thought he might have had the wrong first impression of Loki, but as it turned out, he had been right about him. What had Thor ever done to him? And hadn’t they spent a pleasant afternoon yesterday? If he really despised Thor so much, why hadn’t he just told him to go?

After a while, Thor turned on the radio to fill the silence.

When they arrived at the children’s home, it was a big relief, and they all nearly fled out of the car.

Anne and Katherine were already waiting – really, how fast did that woman drive? – and Loki immediately joined them, leaving Sam and Thor behind.

Again, Thor couldn’t help but staring after him. How he’d love to shake some friggin’ answers out of him.

They all were greeted by children in different stages of excitement and led to one of their common rooms, long table domineering the room with a colorful plastic tablecloth on top.

Surrounded by loud chatter, kids squishing themselves next to Thor to glance into the big box he was carrying, he laughed and put it down in the middle of the table, pulling out various things for drawing, painting, and handcrafting.

Somehow, Thor ended up across from Loki, and although the children and preventing them from causing messy accidents were taking up the majority of his attention, he kept stealing glances at the young man, wondering what had been the reason behind his aggressive behavior. Right now, he seemed completely at ease, laughing along with the kids and drawing whatever they demanded in bright colors. And holy wow, he was good at that.

“No, sweetie, don’t smear the glitter everywhere!” exclaimed Katherine, and a girl with blonde braids dragged her hand over her running nose, leaving behind a sparkling trail.

“I’m not your sweetie,” she replied, and spitefully dumped even more glitter on the piece of cardboard in front of her.

Loki snorted, looking as if he was short of giving her a high-five, and Thor had to hold in his laughter. _Brat._

“What are you even doing there?” the boy - Brandon - beside him asked and eyed Thor’s cardboard suspiciously.

Thor looked down, surveying his handiwork. It was square and red. “A house?”

“Why a house?” the boy asked with furrowed brows, staring at it, hard and judging.

Thor was almost hurt by the boy’s obvious disregard of his skills.

“Why not?” he shrugged, and let his gaze wander around to see what could help him creating... something. He really was bad at this. “Isn’t it enough if it’s fun?”

“No, it has to be good, too!” the boy exclaimed indignantly.

“This picture is good!” a girl next to Loki piped up and pointed at his drawing.

Thor looked at it - a simple barnyard with different animals, flowers, sun, and blue sky -, but so beautiful in its simplicity, and very well-drawn. “It really is.”

Loki looked up at him, surprise evident.

“I wish I could draw like that,” the girl sighed, and Loki smiled.

The warm lighting in the room made the angles of his face appear softer, innocent and perfect, and knowing what a cutting nature lay beneath that somehow made him even more alluring.

“If you practice a lot, you will.”

“Really?”

The gentle smile on his lips tugged on Thor’s heartstrings.

“Of course. Here, I’ll show you how you draw a pony.”

In the end, Thor’s house was such a catastrophe that Loki had mercy with him and came around the table to help him fix it.

They worked side by side, Loki demanding Thor giving him these scissors and that crayon, glueing right here - ”Honestly, did you ever have to glue anything in your life?!” - and Thor was happy to comply.

He found it strangely peaceful like that, their arms brushing the entire time, their bickering quiet and playful, Loki totally focused on the task of raising a cardboard house and making it firm enough so that the children could decorate it later.

Thor used the opportunity to look around and watch the other helpers with the children. Some were using paint to make hand imprints on a big sheet of paper, some were creating jewelry out of colorful pearls and threads, some were quietly drawing pictures and enjoying the various color pencils and crayons.

Sam winked at him and Thor grinned back.

“Must be nice to have someone doing all work for you,” Sam joked, and used his chin to first nod towards his own paint-stained hands and then towards the cardboard house.

However, before Thor could reply, Loki demanded his full attention again, accompanied by an annoyed glance in Sam’s direction, and Thor focused as best as he could on holding the housetop together in the correct position until the glue was dry.

When they were done, they admired their work, sharing a smile - or, in Loki’s case a smirk -, and Thor was stunned at how different Loki could be if he wanted to.

“Go on, decorate it,” he encouraged the kids and stepped back as a few of them fought over glue and glitter and pearls.

Suddenly, Thor felt someone grabbing his hand, and Brandon raised it with a giggle. “Your hands are full of glitter!”

A few kids laughed, and Thor joined them.

“They are. Don’t I look pretty?”

“Yes, but you’re a man,” the spiteful girl from before remarked, and Thor grinned.

“So? Does it look less pretty, then?”

Brandon thought about that for a moment. “No, the glitter is so sparkly!”

“It is,” Thor agreed, and nodded towards Loki, who was watching their conversation with a smile. “His nails are painted, too. Does that make him less pretty?”

“Nooooo,” Mira crowed, the girl who’d sat beside Loki, and grabbed his arm, “he’s even prettier than you!”

Thor heard Sam laughing somewhere in his periphery, but he couldn’t stop looking into Loki’s eyes. A faint blush was appearing on the other man’s cheeks, only noticeable for Thor because his gaze rested on Loki with undivided attention, who seemed unable to break the eye contact.

Resignedly, but utterly unsurprised, Thor found himself wanting.

“Pretty like a princess! But it’s black nail polish,” Mira added, and looked around. “Maybe he needs some glitter, too!”

The spell between them was broken when the girl started throwing glitter around like a fairy, what resulted in the children’s home’s workers yelling and chaos erupting in the room.

The present teens were cackling or heading out with disdainful expressions, and Anne and Katherine did their best to help soothe the kids.

Loki used the mess to duck out of the room, and Thor decided to follow him out and see whether they could continue their conversation from yesterday, now that the younger man had calmed down. Something must have been off this morning, and Thor wanted to make sure he was alright.

With big strides, he tried to catch him before they came to the corner. “Loki, wait!”

Loki only looked over his shoulder and huffed, walking faster and making it impossible for Thor to catch him before being out the front doors again.

Getting a hold of his arm, Thor whirled him around and blocked his path.

With a noise in the back of his throat, Loki violently recoiled from him and took a step back. “Who do you think you are?!”

“Stop running from me. I just wanted to ask if you’re okay.”

“Why do you care?” he spat, slightly turning away from Thor until his back almost hit the wall of the building.

“I...” Searching for an answer was difficult if there was no logical explanation. “What’s your problem?”

“Right now? _You_ are my problem!”

“Oh, am I?” Thor growled back, and stepped closer.

“Obviously!”

Loki’s eyes burned like green stars, angry and bright, and Thor wanted to shake him.

The tension between them was almost palpable.

“I just want to know if you’re alright. Is that too much to ask?”

That seemed to snap something inside of Loki.

“How could I?!” he exploded. “I am stuck here, _every fucking Saturday_ , although I have a painting class _right now!_ ”

A painting class? Did he minor in Fine Arts, then?

“If you hate it so much, then why are you here?!” Thor asked with a raised voice.

“Yes, why,” Loki snarled, body so close that it was a little distracting. “Maybe jail would’ve been the better option in the end!”

Their breathing was the only sound while Thor tried to process what he’d heard.

“Jail?” he asked after a few seconds of silence, and tried to catch Loki’s gaze.

The younger man refused to look him in the eye, though, seemingly regretting his outburst.

“What do you mean?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “What do you think? This is community service.”

With narrowed eyes, Thor took a step back, leaving Loki more room to breathe, now that he had an answer.

“What did you do?”

Leaning back with crossed arms, Loki scowled. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Thor watched him, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. Had Sif been right?

While Loki reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette and a lighter, Thor decided that he wanted to know anyway. “I would.”

After lighting the cigarette, Loki took a long drag, eyes closed, and slowly exhaled the smoke.

Suddenly, Thor noticed how exhausted he looked, deep shadows below his eyes. They matched the gloomy weather outside. 

“I guess the official report says vandalism.” When Thor stayed silent, Loki opened his eyes again. “Graffitis aren’t considered art by the cops.”

Ahh, the classic. Thor almost sighed in relief.

“I guess so.”

It was Loki’s turn to narrow his eyes.

“Is that why you’ve been so upset today?”

A few beats of silence.

“I got thrown out of my painting class.”

“Oh,” Thor said, stomach sinking in sympathy. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Shrugging, Loki threw his cigarette to the ground and stomped it out. “Difficult to grade someone who isn’t there for the next months.”

Unable to come up with a proper reply, Thor scratched his neck and grimaced.

“Anyway,” Loki sighed, turning away from him.

Out of an instinct, Thor reached out his hand to keep Loki there, who snatched his arm back with something akin to panic.

Huh, strange. Did Thor grab him that hard the first time? He didn’t mean to hurt him.

Hands raised, Thor stepped back, giving him a way out as if Loki was a wild animal.

“I just wanted to say that I really appreciate how you treat the children, then, if you aren’t here by your own decision.“

Eyes unreadable, Loki stared. “Why wouldn’t I? They only deserve the best.“

With that, Loki turned and headed inside again, probably more to flee from their confrontation than to actually help. If Thor had learned one thing about him, it was that he was genuinely amused by chaos. So probably no helping.

Slowly, Thor trailed after him, lost in thought.

‘They only deserve the best.’ That was surely true, but somehow, there was a heavy undertone in the way Loki had said it. If only Thor was able to grasp it.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am quite enjoying the chapter introductions through Loki's writing

_Hold me, hold me closer until I can’t see anything but you._

_How can it be wrong if it feels so right,_

_So right to look up to you,_

_So right to get lost in your eyes,_

_How can it be wrong to feel what I feel._

_We are, we are chasing stars and moon._

_Not even God can change my mind,_

_My mind is circling around you,_

_My mind is full of warmth and light,_

_Not even God can tell me it’s not real._

_‘Not Even God’ by Loki Ymirson (16)_

xxxxxxxxxx

“You! Idiot!” Sif hissed, and underlined every word with a hard punch. “Why. Can’t. You. Just. Stay. Away. From. Him?!”

They were in the boxing ring currently, training together and having a friendly match - or that’s what it was supposed to be.

Sif seemed to have a different idea, though, aggressively showering him in punches, so he had no chance to lower his defense and punch back.

“Come one, even Val was in trouble with the cops a few times,” Thor panted, remembering her escapade when she’d drunkenly stolen her sister’s car and got caught on the highway.

“Don’t you dare comparing them,” Sif growled, ducking away when Thor finally managed to regain ground.

“I don’t know what your problem is,” he snarled back, feeling drops of sweat running down his forehead and neck. “He’s a brat, sure, but he’s not as bad as you think.”

“Oh, really? So he isn’t there for community service? He doesn’t fight with people whenever he’s in a bad mood?” She shifted her balance for a roundhouse kick, and Thor reeled back, spluttering. “He isn’t a troublemaker, _just like I said?!”_

Thor retaliated, blocking, punching, wrestling with her.

Their training turned into a MMA match, and Thor couldn’t lie: the blood in his veins was singing at the physical force he was able to let out.

They fought for quite some time, sweating and grunting and unable to talk any more, until Thor finally managed to knock out Sif’s legs from under her. To secure her, he climbed on top of her and pinned her arms down.

Her face was flushed and sweaty, locks of brown her having escaped her braid and clinging to her skin.

“I like him,” he said, and with certainty, he knew that it was true.

His words had the same effect on her as if he’d demanded her to yield. First, she tried to kick him in the nuts, and when she failed, all struggle left her body.

“Okay,” Sif replied, and as simple as that, their fight was over.

It had always been like that, since they were children. There were footages of them fighting each other in the sandpit, pulling on hair and rubbing sand in each other’s faces until Frigga managed to separate them, only for them to smile into the camera a few minutes later, arm in arm, all anger gone.

Thor got up and offered her a hand, which she took with a defeated expression.

“Will you come and join Val and I in the pub today?”

His morning class was microeconomics, a subject that he was really good at and could miss in case of a too bad headache.

“Sure, I wouldn’t dare robbing you of my glorious presence,” he grinned, grabbing his towel and drying his face.

When Sif muttered “Glorious presence my ass”, he threw it at her.

“Damn, you fucking asshole!” she complained and threw it back, they both laughing out loud with the relief that only physical exertion could bring.

Leisurely strolling across the campus towards his dormitory, Thor listened to his mum recounting her week on the phone.

It was so good to hear her voice, it soothed a distress deep down in his soul and calmed his mind.

“And you should’ve seen the flowers they had there,” Frigga sighed, obviously smitten with the indoor Japanese garden she had visited yesterday. “So beautiful and bright, despite the cold weather. Can you believe we’ll have December in a few days?”

Her garden at home was at least equally beautiful - no surprise, considering the time and care she dedicated to it -, but winter was winter. 

Thor missed home; the big mansion, his motorcycle, Frigga’s garden. He missed his mum. And yes, he missed his father, too.

“No,” he laughed, and thought about the gala he was to attend next Tuesday. “Time’s passing fast. Too fast, I have an assignment due next Monday.”

“That reminds me - didn’t you have a test last week?”

He smiled. She didn’t forget a thing. “Yes, an oral Spanish test. I got a high score, can speak it fluently now.”

“I’m so proud of you, darling.” Thor heard her loving smile through the phone. “You’re doing so good, and that with everything else going on.”

“I’m trying,” he replied, raising his eyes from where he had stared unseeingly in front of him to notice a dark-haired figure in a familiar leather jacket and scarf walking towards the library.

“Mum,” he said before she could continue their conversation, “I just saw somebody I need to talk to. I’ll call you on the weekend, yeah?”

“Alright,” she agreed, and he sensed her curiosity. His mother was a keen person, there were rarely things escaping her attention. “I love you, Thor.”

“Love you, too, mum,” he answered while hurrying after Loki. “Bye!”

“Bye. And eat some vegetables here and there!” she called in the last seconds.

Thor laughed and ended the call.

“Loki! Hey, Loki!” he tried to catch the other man’s attention, but he either wasn’t hearing Thor or pretended not to.

Before he reached him, Loki entered the building and vanished out of sight. 

“Goddammit,” Thor cursed, and looked around once he got inside.

No trace of him.

Maybe he would sit where they’d been last Friday? Wandering in that direction, Thor quickly realized that no, Loki wasn’t here either. Maybe between the shelves, then, to search for a book?

 _Why don’t you leave him alone, Thor, he’s not your business anyway_ , he chided himself, but he couldn’t deny how his mood dropped at not finding what he was hoping for.

What was he hoping for, though?

Disappointedly, Thor turned away and decided that if he was here already, he could as well look for the book he needed for his Monday assignment. Hopefully, it would be available, the last book he’d needed had been lend out until one day before his deadline ended. College life.

When he turned the corner between two shelves, he bumped into someone.

“Oof,” came the answering exclamation to his own grunt, followed by an irritated “Watch out, you idiot!”

“Oh, hey,” Thor smiled at Loki when they both were standing upright again. “Sorry, didn’t see you.”

“Obviously,” Loki snarked, and hugged the books in his arms close to his body.

Thor inwardly sighed. Angry again? He should’ve known it.

“Yeah, look, I was thinking we could maybe work on our papers together again?”

“No,” the other man replied curtly, his gaze not quite meeting Thor’s, and he tried to sidestep him to get away.

Even more disappointed, Thor turned and tried to ignore how aware he was of Loki’s body pressing against his when he pushed past him.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to,” Loki said, and Thor was left with watching his back.

Not the worst view, except… something was off with the way Loki held himself.

Thor narrowed his eyes. As a boxer, he had years of experience with how the human body moved, how people shifted their balance to compensate for weaknesses, how stiff they were when they tried to… spare themselves pain.

“Loki,” he began, feet moving on their own accord, and watched the other man’s stance closely.

“What?” Loki snapped, looking over his shoulder, and the way he twisted only his neck, shifting his body as little as possible…

With a few strides, Thor was on his side again, and gently trapped him between his bulk and the shelf. “Why are you in pain?”

Eyes widening, Loki tried to jerk back from him, only to wince when the abrupt movement hurt him. “I’m not,” he lied nonetheless, and lowered his gaze.

Fiery hot rage started pulsing through Thor’s blood, along with a fierce surge of protectiveness.

“Who hurt you?” he ground out, unconsciously lessening the distance between them even further, wanting to block out the world. Loki was safe here.

But the man still refused to meet his gaze. “It’s nothing, Thor. And now let me go.”

No, no, Thor _wouldn’t_ leave him alone like that. Nobody deserved to be hurt, no matter what they’d done, and most times, they hadn’t. Did Loki get into a fight? Did he have an abusive boyfriend?

As carefully as possible, Thor laid his hand on the back of Loki’s neck and turned his face towards him. “Who hurt you?” he murmured again, willing Loki to trust him, and with a shock, he saw that Loki’s eyes were shining with unshed tears. 

_Nothing so sad should look so beautiful,_ Thor thought.

They held each other’s gaze, lost in this unexpectedly private moment.

“Why do you care?” Loki whispered.

 _I don’t know,_ Thor wanted to say, but that seemed rude, so instead he asked “Why wouldn’t I?”

It took a few more seconds to break their connection, but eventually, Loki shook it off and stepped away from Thor.

“If you really do,” he said, and Thor could hear the doubt in every syllable, “then leave me alone. Just leave me alone.”

It broke Thor’s heart, but he shouldn’t disregard Loki’s wishes without a good reason. Maybe he was someone who needed alone-time to center himself.

Catching Loki’s eyes one more time, Thor nodded, and readjusted his bag.

“Could you do me a favor, though?” he couldn’t stop himself, and begged that he wasn’t overstepping boundaries. That had always been a problem: respecting boundaries when his protection instinct had kicked in.

Loki raised his brows when Thor pulled out his phone and opened a new contact, holding it out for him to enter his number.

“Text me if something happens.”

A few seconds passed before Loki reached out silently and took the phone, entered his number, and gave it back to him.

“Thank you,” was all Thor said, then he retreated and headed to his dormitory. He’d be unable to focus on his paper, and he’d meet up with Sif and Val in two hours in the pub anyway.

On his way out, he looked down on his phone, snorting in surprise when he saw the contact name Loki had given himself.

_‘Prettier Than You’._

Sassy imp, even in a situation like this he wouldn’t stop bickering.

Thor saved it exactly as that, and sent him a short text to give him his number, too.

**Thor Borson (6:52pm): In your dreams, glitter punk princess**


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's POV

Loki lay in the dark of his room and tried to be as quiet as possible.

His hand slowly moved over his dick, dragging his fingers over the sensitive skin and pressing his thumb into the slit of the head.

He inhaled sharply, the loudest sound he allowed himself, lest he woke Farbauti; judging from the lack of noise, he’d finally fallen asleep, _finally_ , and it should stay this way.

The tension Loki was unable to shed - and for good reason - was keeping him from sleeping now, so he had to make his body relax. Besides, he loved masturbating, as simple as that.

_As simple as that,_ echoed in his head, and he remembered when he’d last heard someone say these words. Thor had used that phrase when he’d tried to convince Loki that he genuinely wanted to help the children, good PR or not.

A snort escaped him, and he furrowed his brows, displeased with himself. _Quiet._

And yet… the way Thor played with the children, holding tiny scissors in his big hands, throwing the kids into the air and unerringly catching them, flopping down on the ground and roaring with laughter when he was assaulted by five year olds… Thor was not how Loki would have imagined. For all his brutishness, he was surprisingly soft.

Loki’s breath hitched when he thought about that exact brutishness, the bulging muscles rippling on his arms when he moved. And he was a giant, at least 6”3, in any case taller than Loki.

Hand quickening, he remembered how Thor had caged him in in the library today. These goddamn bright blue eyes, staring right into his soul while he’d leaned closer and closer, his bulk holding him in place, overwhelming, nearly forceful through his presence alone…

A moan tried to escape Loki’s lips, so he bit down on them. His hand was flying over his length now as his brain concocted a fantasy to help him get off.

It would’ve been so easy to take a step forward and press their bodies together, feeling Thor’s body heat and hard muscles through the clothes.

‘Loki,’ he’d murmur, voice going rough, the worry in his eyes turning into something different, more primal, hungry. A predator.

He’d still have his hand on Loki’s neck, heavy and anchoring, and use it to crash their lips together, his stubble scratching Loki’s skin in the best way possible.

With his weight, Thor’d crowd Loki against the shelf behind him, grinding his crotch against Loki’s, and Loki would almost turn mad with the desperation for more.

Despite the pain in his back, Loki bucked his hips upwards, feeling the same desperation like his mental clone.

He brought his other hand up to his mouth and sucked on his fingers, swirling his tongue around them with expertise and coating them in his saliva as best as he could.

Temporarily stopping the movements on his dick, he lifted his blanket and the waistband of his sweatpants enough to not wet them with his other hand, and briefly circled his brim before pushing in one finger without further preamble.

Sucking in another sharp breath, he pressed his eyes shut and refocused his attention on his masturbation fantasy, the other hand stroking his cock firmly.

In his imagination, Thor had spun Loki and bent him over, one hand clamped down on his mouth to stop sounds from spilling out, one hand preparing his ass.

There would be no talking because it was a public space, and anyone could walk in on them, but that’d only make it more exciting. Thor Borson, unable to resist the lure of Loki’s body. Besides, the library was not the wildest place where Loki had gotten pounded.

The burn that came from the lack of lube only served his fantasy, and after little to no time, Loki was fucking himself up into his fist and down onto his finger, then down on two fingers, unable to entirely restrict the movement of his hips to keep the bed from creaking. He’d be in real trouble when Farbauti would wake up and come in now.

Loki was sweating all over, breath leaving him in harsh pants by the time fantasy-Thor positioned his dick at Loki’s entrance and pushed in. At the same time, Loki inserted a third finger, giving his best to make them appear thicker.

‘That’s good,’ Thor would lowly pant into Loki’s ear, covering Loki’s frame with his body completely and making him feel the weight. ‘Take it all with your tight little hole.’

And Loki would do just that, helpless to do anything but take.

The movements of his own hand turned forceful, nearly violent, making him bite the insides of his cheeks, but it was oh-so good.

He felt heat pooling low in his stomach, telling him that he was very close, so he imagined Thor using his free hand to brush away Loki’s hair and saying ‘I’m gonna cum inside you’ before sinking his teeth into Loki’s flesh and pistoning his hips forward, bringing them both release.

“Mmmmm,” Loki muffled his outcry by biting his lips again, the sparks of pain only heightening the pleasure rushing through his veins.

_Goddammit, yes...damn,_ he swore inside his head, riding out his orgasm, coming down from his high much too quickly, body sweaty and aching all over, but at least warm and blissfully heavy.

As he pulled his fingers out of his ass and wiped himself clean with the paper towels on his nightstand, he thought about what jerking it to a fantasy of Thor meant.

He was no idiot, he knew that he’d been sexually attracted to Thor since he’d first seen him - he even used any chance he could to get physically close to him - and if the dumbass was anybody else, Loki’d probably already gone for it. But given the fact that the newspapers had a strange fixation on him and Loki wasn’t really keen on being seen together with him and having paparazzi dig around in his life…

Well, that meant he had to make sure to not get caught.

A wicked grin crawled over his face as he curled together under the blanket, mind hazy from the orgasm and exhaustion.

Call it self-destruction or a natural tendency towards chaos, but Loki loved playing games, especially if the outcome was so promising in case of a victory.

Fortunately, Loki was shameless, or else he’d probably be unable to look into these azure eyes again after fucking himself and imagining it to be Thor’s dick. He couldn’t deny it: Thor’s dominant presence triggered a well-known part of his lizard brain, especially since he seemed to be more than just the entitled Rich Kid that Loki had wanted to see in him. 

There was a strange honesty in the way Thor behaved. Brash and without an ounce of perceptiveness, as if he would _feel_ more than see what was going on around him. Sensing that something was off, but unable to figure out what the root of it was. So naive.

Grin softening into a smile, Loki thought about how persistent Thor was, seeking his presence no matter how nasty Loki was to him. 

Maybe, just maybe, he could have something nice for once.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff ahead :3

_So, the little boy jumped out of his bed and climbed out of the window, enthralled by the tinkling bells only he seemed to hear._

_Barefoot and without any fear, he followed the trail of white star flowers leading him to the forest, moonlight giving the delicate petals an otherworldly glow._

_He hesitated at the line of trees, remembering his mother’s warnings to stay away from the woods lest he get lost in them, telling him tales of the Fair Folk late at night before singing him to sleep._

_The bells chimed again, a high and lovely sound, and forgetting all the warnings, he disappeared into the forest, leading him farther and farther away from home._

_When he’d walked for some time, his little feet were cold and hurting, so he sat down and started to cry._

_“Why are you shedding tears, sweet child?” a voice asked him, and startled, the boy looked up._

_A woman was standing in front of him, tall and beautiful, bending down to him with a worried look on her face. The air around her seemed to glow, and the little boy stared at her with wide eyes, tears still glistening in them._

_“My feet are hurting, and it’s so cold,” he sniffed, and the woman smiled warmly._

_“I see. A little boy like you shouldn’t have gone out without socks and shoes at his feet and a jacket around his shoulders. Come with me, I’ll lead you to a place where you can get warm again.”_

_She reached out her hand, and the little boy went with her._

_“What is your name, sweetie?” she asked while she brought him into her home, a breathtaking village grown between the trees, part of the forest around it._

_“Sam. And yours?”_

_The woman smiled again, but didn’t answer._

_She gave him socks, shoes, a blanket, and hot cocoa, fussing over him until his cheeks were glowing with warmth again and he was yawning tiredly._

_“I wanna go home,” he mumbled, suddenly wishing he could lie down in his bed._

_“Hmmm,” hummed the woman, watching his eyes droop. “I will bring you back to the treeline, but you have to walk the rest of the way on your own.”_

_The boy nodded, and hand in hand, they walked back, following the path of star flowers to the edge of the forest._

_“Will you visit me again?” the woman asked when they arrived at their destination._

_Shouts could be heard in the distance, and the orange glow of torches was piercing the night nearby._

_The boy nodded. “How will I find you?”_

_“Just follow the star flowers,” she answered him, gently pushing the boy towards the shouting voices, calls getting louder and more desperate the longer they talked._

_The little boy stumbled towards them, but then he remembered that he hadn’t thanked the woman for being so nice to him._

_When he turned, nobody was there._

_Only the faint chimes of bells could be heard, getting carried away in the wind._

_Excerpt from “The Star Flower Trail”, a short story by Loki Ymirson (16)_

xxxxxxxxxx

During the days following the library bump-in, Thor found himself looking for Loki when he was on campus, spying him here and there, often accompanied by a young blonde woman. Thor was curious who she might be, he didn’t know her, couldn’t remember to have seen her before. Or had he? If he was perfectly honest, it was possible that they had been on the same parties, but that Thor had forgotten about her as soon as she was out of sight.

By now, Thor had confirmed his guess that Loki was minoring in Fine Arts - bless Fandral and his gossip mongering in times like these - and that they indeed had no classes together.

Because Thor basically lived on campus and apparently had nothing better to do when he wasn’t hurrying from class to class or meeting up with his friends in the gym or elsewhere, he started making short trips to the library to see if he found this book or that, all the while keeping an eye out for Loki. He knew that it was bordering on stalking, but he couldn’t stop worrying about the younger one.

On Friday, when Thor casually looked to the tables in the quiet corner without actually anticipating to find Loki there, he did a double take when shiny, raven black hair greeted him, leather jacket and scarf draped over the backrest of the chair.

With a big grin on his face, he confidently made his way over and halted next to him.

“Hi! You come here often?” he joked, and was repaid with an exaggerated eye roll.

“And here I was actually contemplating to say yes,” Loki retorted, sniffing disdainfully.

“Aww, come on,” Thor said while already seating himself. “You working on the Shakespeare stuff again?”

Loki sighed and watched Thor pulling out his laptop and books. Today he definitely had to finish the assignment for Monday. The Business Administration teachers didn’t even know what it meant to have mercy with someone, and deadlines were holier to them than the Bible.

“Yes, I will. It’s a project that has to be finished in a week and will influence my final grade for the class. So I’m afraid I won’t be good company, I’m going to work with headphones in.”

Thor huffed in amusement. As if Loki had ever cared about being good or bad company.

“Doesn’t matter,” he answered when Loki furrowed his brow at his huff, he didn’t want to risk butchering the light mood. “I need to finish this today, too.”

“Great,” Loki smiled, put his earbuds in and started overlooking his notes.

Feeling comfortable with their arrangement, Thor started working, too, only occasionally looking up when Loki shuffled his papers and sharing easy smiles with him when their eyes met.

Thor was completely taken aback. No anger, no spite, no resentment. He’d lie if he said he wasn’t curious as to what had changed - maybe Loki had realized that Thor had been genuinely worried about him? -, but he was also simply enjoying it. It felt peaceful.

In his periphery, he noticed a movement, and when he looked up, he saw the younger man slightly nodding along to the music, entirely engrossed in his writing.

Smiling to himself, Thor lowered his gaze again and continued working.

Time flew by like that, and soon enough, Thor typed his last sentence. With a satisfied sigh, he saved the document and leaned back.

Loki was staring down at his page, a dark furrow in his brow, not writing anymore.

“What’s wrong?” Thor asked, wondering what Loki was thinking about.

Green eyes snapped up, clearly distressed, and he pulled out an earbud. “Sorry?”

“I was asking what is wrong,” Thor repeated, waving at Loki’s notes. “You seem distressed.”

“I’m stuck,” Loki muttered, scowling down at the paper again.

“Anything I can do to help?”

A heavy sigh escaped Loki, and he leaned back, too, rubbing his eyes. “Not really. I probably just need a break.”

“How long are you here?”

“Hmmm… maybe for two hours.”

No wonder Loki looked so exhausted. Thor assumed that the other man had had a normal day full of classes, and then sitting in the library and learning for two hours straight… it reminded Thor of the time in high school, when his father had insisted to drag him to the company after school for hours to show him this and that, and afterwards, when Thor was exhausted and unable to focus, he’d still needed to finish his homework. Luckily, after two months, his mum had intervened, convincing his dad that Thor could learn everything he needed to know between his graduation and college and the summer breaks in the following years. Thor would always be grateful for that, enjoying his newfound freedom like a prisoner seeing daylight for the first time again after long years of jail.

“Definitely break time. Did you eat anything yet?” He asked, trying to think of anything Loki could need to refill his energy. Preferably, something substantial.

“No, but I’m not really hungry.”

Thor narrowed his eyes and regarded the younger one. One couldn’t live from coffee and cigarettes alone.

“We could go to the campus café, it’s still open.”

“Thanks, but no,” came the firm reply, and Thor gave up.

Silence settled between them, and he used the opportunity to gather his thoughts. Ever since he’d learned of Loki’s community service, he’d been curious what the exact circumstances had been.

However, before Thor could voice that question, Loki leaned forward and said “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Thor immediately replied, and noticed too late the wicked gleam in Loki’s eyes.

“What is the truth behind that article in _Glow Up_ ’s latest issue?”

Why did Loki always come back to that article? Granted, Thor hadn’t thought about Thialfi for quite some time now and wondered if he should feel bad for that, but he hated the wild guesses and scandals that the reporters spun to make up a good story.

He felt his lips curling into a frown, and saw that it didn’t go past Loki. Only little seemed to go past him.

“Why do you want to know that suddenly?”

The other man laughed. “I thought we’d get to know each other. Didn’t you ask me who I am the last time we were here?”

“Yes,” Thor conceded, shifting uncomfortably before sighing defeatedly. “You want the truth? Well, it’s not in that magazine.”

“You don’t say,” Loki jibed, and Thor scowled.

“I’m bisexual, what is there to gossip about? I took Thialfi with me because I was with him at that time, if I’d been with a woman, I would’ve taken her.”

“That’s not what I meant,” grinned Loki, and Thor was slightly unsettled. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, but that you’re bi is pretty evident.”

“What?” he asked, not sure whether he should be offended.

Loki leaned back, watching him with eyes that suddenly reminded of a cat’s.

“We’ve been on a lot of parties together. ‘Takes one to know one’, remember?”

“What exactly are you saying?”

Smirking, Loki said: “Nothing at all. Just that you being bi is as obvious as me being gay.”

Thor stared at Loki, trying to understand how the other man’s mind worked. Why was he bringing the topic up if he apparently didn’t want to talk about it? Was he just trying to rile Thor up? Or did he mean the thing about Odin being thoroughly displeased with Thor’s ‘adventurous nature’? Surely, he wouldn’t expect Thor to unpack all of that now?

On the other hand, he himself had almost asked Loki what had happened with the police, that was probably a personal topic, too. He still wanted an answer to that, though.

“Do you know 20 questions?” Thor asked.

Loki grimaced. “Yes, who doesn’t. It’s an unnecessary game. Why not having a normal conversation?”

Thor had anticipated that reply. It was the reply everyone gave who liked to beat around the bush while Thor, on the other hand, was simply not the person to give anything but a straight answer.

“Oh, so you can get to know me while evading my own questions?”

Loki’s eyes widened in surprise, and Thor knew that he’d been right. That manipulative little shit.

Unwavering, he held Loki’s gaze, who huffed and crossed his arms. It was an adorably childish gesture. “Fine, if you insist. But I’ll start.”

“Of course,” Thor smirked, and put his chin in his hand while he listened to Loki’s first question.

In the end, they only made it to question eleven before Thor had to leave because he’d meet up with Volstagg in the gym.

Shockingly, they’d talked for nearly one and a half hours, and he had to admit that Loki was a great conversation partner. He was smart and witty and funny, and smooth enough to retreat when he sensed dangerous topics - unless, of course, his intention was to make Thor uncomfortable.

He’d been successful with that, at least, making Thor blush when he’d asked bluntly and without any shame if it was true that Thor was insatiable and if he liked his partners pliant or energetic. Thor had refused to answer that question - he was almost convinced that Loki had only asked because he wanted to see Thor squirm in his chair anyway -, but Thor couldn’t stop wondering now how Loki was during sex. Was he demanding? Submissive? A brat? Power bottom or pillow princess? That he preferred being the bottom was out of question, the times Thor had seen Loki grind his ass against some guy’s crotch were numerous.

Images flashed throw Thor’s head while he headed to the gym, and he was grateful that he could get rid of some of the tension in his body through his training. Not tension; arousal.

He was in Big Shit.

It didn’t help that Thor was charmed by Loki’s personality, too. The more he talked to him, watched him, and elicited those moments of open emotion and vulnerability from him, the more Thor was drawn towards him as a human, not only towards his body.

He’d learned that Loki’s favourite color was green, not forest green but bright like emeralds.

‘Like your eyes,’ Thor’d unthinkingly said, and Loki had blushed like he’d never been complimented in his entire life.

The music Loki had listened to to get in the zone for his Shakespeare work was a playlist consisting of alternative pop songs and indie rock such as Halsey and LP, but also including songs of various musicals. For creative works, he still wrote on paper instead of using a laptop or tablet because he ‘felt’ more what he was doing this way, it somehow helped focusing his thoughts.

He’d been in a science club when he was in high school and had participated in literature contests, even got the first place in 8th grade.

He had two - no, three - siblings, all older than himself and not living at home with him. Apparently, Loki didn’t like talking about his family so much because he didn’t elaborate further except that his brothers Byleist and Helblindi were from a different father and that Loki also had a brother he didn’t know from a different mother. 

Thor had remembered, then, that he, too, had a half-brother he didn’t know, and they had bonded over the irresponsibility and stupidity of their fathers. 

To be honest, Thor had been raised like an only-child; when he tried to remember his brother, his mind only conjured vague images of a toddler, and Thor had never cared enough to ask his dad why they never saw him again. That Odin sent money into a college fund until the child would turn twenty-one was an open secret, but except that, Thor’s brother wasn’t part of the Borson family, and Thor had never questioned it. Thinking about all of that, he’d wondered how his brother might look and what he was doing, but that thought was fleeting.

Loki had raised his brows when Thor had finally asked him about the exact circumstances of his community service, wondering out loud why he would be interested in that.

‘I’m curious,’ Thor had shrugged. Then he’d added: ‘Besides, I’ve already seen that your drawings are good, and you’ve used crayons for that. I wonder what your graffiti would look like.’

Loki had beamed at him, then, open and bright, and now Thor just couldn’t stop smiling.

***

The first Saturday in December was spent with raising christmas trees in the children’s hospitals and decorating them together.

The children’s nursing home in their direct vicinity and a children’s home that had a reputation for not spending much money on the kids and was suffering from a lack of staff were planned for the next Saturday, while the third group would spend the time with renovating a children’s hospital’s lounge.

Because of logistical reasons, Thor was collected by Sam close to the dormitory, christmas tree already strapped to the roof of a borrowed transporter, decorations in the back of the car.

“Thor, get in!” the man roared, and Thor let himself fall into the seat and shut the door, slapping Sam’s hand in a jovial handshake.

“Morning,” he grinned, still in an exceptionally good mood that only got better at the prospect of learning where Loki lived.

“Turn the light down, sunny boy, or you’ll blind someone,” Sam promptly commented, and Thor couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s up? Found a few hundred dollars on the ground?”

“Pfff”, he shook his head, and looked out of the window. “Nothing, what should be?”

Sam hummed knowingly, making Thor want to cringe, and gave him a look. “Yeah, I know that ‘nothing’. Alright, beam away, but I won’t be responsible for traffic accidents.”

“Stop it,” Thor laughed again, and their conversation thankfully turned towards different topics, such as the last football game of Sam’s favorite team and Thor’s eating habits that he’d developed to support his training and improve his general health - although college, especially upcoming exams and the nearly manic learning sessions, made it difficult to stick to it sometimes.

When they’d made it through the worst of traffic, Thor noticed that they were driving through a neighborhood he didn’t know well.

“Does Loki live here?”

“Somewhere close by, he told me to pick him up at the next corner because it’s easier to not drive all the way into this labyrinth.”

“Oh, okay,” Thor answered lost in thought, watching the street around them curiously and, yes, a little disappointedly. He would’ve liked to see how Loki lived.

The street itself wasn’t in an especially good condition, cracks in the surface and uneven curbstones, but Thor had seen many like that. Their city was big, so of course, there were neighborhoods that were well-groomed and told of the extra money the people there had to spend, and there were streets like this one; not important enough to care for as long as it still sufficed.

The houses on both sides were humble and standing close to each other, and glancing into the crossroads, it seemed that they got smaller and closer the further it got.

Thor wondered if Loki liked his home. It didn’t matter to him whether Loki had money or not, how big his house was or how neat his lawn, if he even had one. Sure, Thor had been raised in a rich family, his father having worked hard to make _Asgard_ successful and flourishing, and it made life much easier to not worry about spending money on the things he wanted and considered necessary - what sometimes greatly varied from other people’s view on ‘necessities’ -, but all of this didn’t really matter, in his opinion, as long as people felt comfortable in their lives.

Everyone had a different inner life standard, different goals and ambitions, that was normal and perfectly fine. Important was only if they were happy.

Thor wondered if Loki was happy. If he was honest, considering from what he had seen of the man, he guessed he wasn’t, and just the thought alone made Thor’s chest tighten.

Was it only his current situation with community service? Or was there more? There probably was more. 

Remembering the stiff movements of the younger one a few days ago in the library, the flashes of pain and tears in his eyes when he finally looked at him, Thor clenched his fist.

He wished he knew Loki much better than he did because he felt as if he was only taking glimpses at him, looking through a keyhole and never even remotely understanding the picture behind the door.

Their car neared the corner of the street, and Thor noticed Loki immediately, crouching down on the curb and staring intently at something hidden from Thor’s view.

“What is he doing there?” he mumbled, straining his neck to see something.

“I really don’t know,” Sam answered, brow furrowed, and came to a halt next to Loki.

The young man’s head snapped around, apparently taking a moment to recognize them, before he signalled them that he needed a little more time.

Turning around once more, Loki’s lips moved as if he was talking to someone, and finally, Thor realized that there must be an animal under the parking car in front of them.

“I’m gonna see what he’s doing,” he announced and climbed out of the car, shutting the door behind him.

Without so much as looking at him, Loki murmured “Slowly, Thor,” and continued making clicking sounds with his tongue.

“Is there a cat under it?” Thor asked, crouching down beside Loki and trying to peer under the car, too, without coming too close.

“Obviously,” Loki huffed, rolling his eyes, and extended his hand towards the car. “Come out now, Grumpy, I’ve seen you getting under there. Don’t even try to fool me. Come here, sweetie, come on. Uncle Loki doesn’t have time to play hide and seek with you now.”

 _Uncle Loki?_ his mind registered amusedly, but it was overridden by the sheer cuteness of Loki trying to lure the cat out of its hiding spot, cooing to it like all pet owners seemed to do.

“Is it yours?” Thor asked and watched as two paws and a head appeared, green-yellowish eyes scrutinizing them suspiciously.

“Fine, Grumpy, you’re such a sweet boy. Come to me,” Loki continued, followed again by a few clicking sounds and a waggle of his fingers, and indeed, the cat - who apparently was called Grumpy - crawled into the light and began rubbing it’s fluffy grey head against Loki’s hand. “Yes, that’s good, that’s…” With a grab, Loki hoisted the squirming cat up into his arms and raised, Thor following suit.

“No, he isn’t mine, he must be one of the neighbors. But I found him once, having gotten hit by a car, so I get… really uneasy when I find him so close to the street.”

“Mhmm, I understand,” Thor replied, watching Loki rubbing his cheek against Grumpy’s head, who seemed to be totally at ease in his current position on Loki’s arm.

 _To be honest, I would be, too,_ Thor joked to himself, thinking that it was probably much too late now to ask himself if getting closer to Loki, a gay man with disastrous reputation and preference for being difficult, was really a good idea. Thor’s subconsciousness had made the decision for him weeks ago, when he’d been inevitably drawn towards the little imp.

“I’m going to sit him down into my neighbor’s garden over there. Be right back,” Loki announced, and Thor watched him go, still quietly talking to the cat, before he moved back to Sam’s Ford and climbed in again.

Sam was looking him with an expression somewhere between impatience, displeasure, and amusement. “‘Nothing’, I see.”

Thor only shot him a glare.

Heaving the tree from the roof of the car into his arms, Thor let himself be navigated by Loki and Sam because he himself couldn’t see exceptionally well over the branches hindering his sight. Despite the tree being in a net, it was voluminous and would stand big and proud once it was all set up.

He couldn’t wait to see the end result. Imagining the excited shine in the children’s eyes, he smiled to himself, memories of christmas during his own childhood surfacing.

His mum used to decorate the tree together with him on the last weekend before christmas; the entire estate was already gleaming with lights by then. If they were lucky, snow was falling outside, making them feel even more cozy with their thick plush socks and horrible christmas sweaters that Frigga insisted they wore. Thor had always loudly complained, but secretly, he’d loved it. The house had smelled of cinnamon and candles, and the cheesiest christmas music was playing, occasionally drowned out by his mum’s ringing laughter or Thor’s own excited voice and giggles when he was called out for purposely falsely singing along to the songs. His father would sit in his big arm chair, smoking a pipe and interrupting to read the news or reports in his lap every now and then to comment on their hard work - or threaten to throw Thor headfirst into a pile of snow if he didn’t stop torturing their ears this instant. 

Later, when Thor got older, Odin would stop being present around these days, preparing _Asgard_ for the end of the year, and Thor had tried really hard not to care. He’d told himself over and over that he understood how important the company was to him, that his dad hadn’t helped them anyway, that it didn’t make a difference - but it did. 

So, now that he was here with a big tree in his arms and the others carrying boxes of decorations for kids that were stuck in a hospital during these days instead of spending the days snuggled up in blankets at home, he would try his best to at least let them have this - the joy that came with decorating a christmas tree.

Thor was ripped out of his thoughts rather violently because he stumbled, his foot having caught a hidden step, and he heard delighted snickering from a specific brat. “Careful, there’s a step.”

“Very funny,” Thor grumbled, being overly aware of his feet now. 

Apparently, he couldn’t rely on Sam either because the man was laughing at him, too. But had he volunteered to carry the tree? Of course not. Much too unhandly.

“Don’t worry, Thor, if you would’ve fallen, I’m sure the tree would’ve kept you from kissing the ground. You certainly look like the kind of guy to enjoy a little forest time. All big and bulky, chopping wood on a clearing… Only the lumberjack shirt is missing.”

Thor shifted the tree to be able to look at Loki’s face. There was still a gleeful grin due to him successfully being an inconvenience to Thor, but his eyes were lingering on Thor’s arms around the tree, or more correctly, his biceps currently bulging under the strain of lifting all that dead weight.

Knowing that he was able to attract Loki’s attention like that was heady, especially when he saw the man swallow like he did just now, obviously appreciating the view.

“Oh, really?” Thor smirked smugly, and relished in the way Loki’s eyes snapped back to him, caught staring and yet entirely nonchalant about it.

“I mean, as long as you leave the decoration to the kids and I… just don’t trip again. I’m not so sure the tree wouldn’t break under your weight,” he commented, then turned around and vanished into the building.

“Thanks a lot.” Shaking his head, he maneuvered the tree through the doors and made his way up the stairs to the first floor.

When he tripped and stumbled there, Sam’s roaring laughter resounded in the entire stairwell.

At least the tree didn’t break.

The rest of the day was spent with winding the light strings around the tree - there were four incidents of tripping (not him) and one tantrum because they kept tangling again -, finding spots for the christmas decoration, bickering, jibes and scowls from Loki because of everyone’s lack of taste - except the children, they did wonderful -, Thor’s and Sam’s much less eloquent and smooth remarks, Kat’s and Anna’s quiet smiles and warm laughter, and, of course, the contagious energy and festive mood the children were in.

It was wonderful and made Thor feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

He stood on a ladder and accepted whatever decoration should be placed in the higher branches, letting himself be directed by whoever felt like they knew where to put it.

“No, no, more right, more right!” a little girl was yelling while Thor balanced on a step and hung in a sparkling glass bell.

“There?” he asked, leaning back a little to survey his work.

“No, more right!” she demanded, and Thor sighed, leaning over again to pick it up once more and search for a better place, _more right._

Because of a sudden jostle of the ladder, Thor made a startled noise and briefly flailed his arms to regain his balance.

It was drowned out by Loki yelling “Watch out, you idiot!”, though, while grabbing Thor’s leg to steady him.

Shockedly, Thor gazed down and met Loki’s eyes, worry written clearly over the younger one’s face looking up at him.

Thor’s heart pounded loudly in his chest due to the shock, but he was okay, didn’t lose his footing, and once Loki had realized that, he turned towards the poor nurse who had apparently failed to see the ladder and had bumped into it on her way past the group.

“Don’t you have _eyes_ in your head to see where you’re going?” he hissed, and the nurse ducked her head and apologized profusely.

“It’s not me you should apologize to! If that is how you take care of your surroundings, I’m not really keen on watching you work, if I am honest.”

Sam tried to step in, but Loki glowered at him and raised his chin defiantly, the kids having gone very silent at the yelling.

“Loki,” Thor said, but the man didn’t hear him over the nurse’s aggravated remark and him sucking in a breath for his own retort.

Loki’s hand still firmly held Thor’s leg, the latter realized with a swell of fondness, so Thor reached out and gently touched it. “Loki.”

Emerald eyes turned towards him, sparkling with fury, a deep crease between his brows. He reminded Thor of a kitten, all ready to attack.

“It’s okay,” Thor said, and squeezed the other man’s hand before straightening again. “Nothing happened. Thank you.”

Slowly, the fight left Loki’s expression, and while the nurse apologized to Thor and hurried off with one last scowl in Loki’s direction, the younger one seemed to calm down again.

Something that felt like liquid sunshine settled in Thor’s chest while his stomach squirmed.

The worry and anger on Thor’s behalf had been so obvious, there was no way Loki cared as little about Thor as he wanted to let on.

The sound of someone clearing their throat resounded, and Thor looked up to find Katherine warmly smiling at them and Sam giving Loki a displeased stare.

Well, alright, insulting the nurse in front of the children was probably not the best behavior.

“Who wants to hang up more lametta?” Thor asked, and smiled at the kids.

Luckily, they all seemed to get over the incident quickly, and after another half an hour, only the top was missing.

“This one,” a mostly quiet teen pointed out, and Loki nodded pleasedly.

“Good choice, Leon.”

Proudly, Leon picked up the top and reached up to give it to Thor, who then stretched himself to properly place it.

He felt a hand returning to his leg, grip strong and reassuring, and nearly broke his face with the giant smile spreading there.

When he was sure the top was secured, he turned his upper body and beamed down at everyone. “It is done!”

The children started cheering, and every adult was smiling and clapping as if there was no greater goal in life than accomplishing what they had.

It felt so incredibly good, and Thor was happy and content and at peace.

When he got ready to climb the ladder back down, he felt Loki giving his thigh an appraising squeeze before removing his hand, and Thor had to concentrate really hard not to trip again.

Once on the floor, he turned and nearly came chest to chest with Loki, whose face had a playful expression.

“Good job, lumberjack.”

“Thank you, little imp.” 

Thor smiled softly when he noticed Loki’s eyelashes fluttering slightly at the nickname.

“An imp? Maybe I should’ve just let you fall,” the younger man retorted, gaze warm and open. He looked relaxed.

A deep black stray lock was falling into Loki’s face, building a stark contrast to his pale skin and attracting Thor’s attention instantly.

Slowly, unsure how the other man would react, he reached out and tucked it behind Loki’s ear. “But you haven’t.”

Loki’s lips parted slightly, before one corner of his mouth lifted. “Couldn’t have let you break the tree.”

Laughing lowly, Thor finally stepped back.

He was still very aware of the children bustling around the room, whereas the group members had apparently decided to give them a few seconds to themselves and started packing up the remaining, unused decoration.

Thor’s eyes landed on the christmas tree, reaching up high with a sparkling silvery top, christmas lights, bells, snowflakes, and lots of lametta in between. It wasn’t perfect, wasn’t nearly as symmetrical and harmonic as the trees _Asgard_ had standing around, but it was much more beautiful. It felt real, and it felt right.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why this is such a short chapter, but I guess I am a tease

_I smile into the mirror, but it doesn’t smile back._

_Tearing at my skin, I try glimpsing through the crack_

_The child I must’ve been._

_Outside in the sun, their screeches pierce the air,_

_Eyes bright and curious, they set off and only care_

_About the next wonder they might see._

_I often ask myself if I was like them,_

_If I laughed and played without the shadows waiting_

_Because here in the dark, only whispers are remaining_

_And there’s no photograph to tell._

_“Inner Child” by Loki Ymirson (17)_

xxxxxxxxxx

Two weeks were passing by, much too fast and yet incredibly slowly.

Thor was juggling the gala - a boring but necessary event that he indeed attended without a partner, much to his father’s satisfaction -, his classes, the gym, a boxing match, shopping a few christmas presents, and time in the library, a place that he connected with Loki now, and it left him exhausted.

Eventually, Thor had noticed that Loki had a habit of staying long in the evenings, until he got practically thrown out, and decided that he could as well keep the younger man company.

It was nice, and although Loki pretended to be annoyed about Thor disturbing him with his boisterousness, he relaxed pretty quickly, enjoying the additional opportunity of making snide remarks about this or that behavior and somehow simultaneously keeping a flirting tone that had Thor longing.

He had been tempted more than once to stride around the table, push Loki back into his chair, and seal that sharp, devious mouth with his own, but he’d always held back in the last second. Ignoring how the blood rushed in his ears, he had taken deep and steadying breaths because for all the tension between them, he still wasn’t sure if that was what Loki wanted. Thor might have a reputation for being very dominant and even overpowering at times, but he’d never force himself onto someone, and Loki was definitely sending him mixed signals. 

One moment he showed Thor a book, explaining this interpretation and that to him, leaning close and looking at him from under his eyelashes, another he pushed him away and made a condescending comment about Thor’s lack of education - which was _not_ true, he just happened to have his strengths in different areas! 

One moment Thor found him between the shelves and laid a hand on his neck to anchor him after what seemed to be the beginning of an anxiety attack, Loki going all wide eyed, pupils dilated, so responsive to physical contact… and the next moment Thor listened to him spitting venom at some poor student who happened to be on Loki’s bad side, and Thor wondered how a person could be that contradicting.

Spending time with the raven-haired man was the most intoxicating feeling. He was so wild and unrestrained and yet so utterly caught up in his own head, and Thor wanted more.

“I have a question for you,” he said one evening, watching Loki draw a landscape that seemed to come alive under his pencil, a vixen with her fox cubs curiously peeking out of the picture. “Question fifteen.”

“Mhm,” Loki hummed, not stopping his ministrations that made a lake gleam in the last sunlight of the day. He was already used to Thor’s questions by now, and that alone was enough to made Thor happy.

“If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?”

The movements of the pencil halted, and Loki looked up, eyes thoughtful and earnest. “Only one thing?”

“Yes, no matter what.”

Loki pondered the question for a while, gazing somewhere behind Thor, his thoughts far away.

“I would change my mother’s past choices,” he murmured sadly, “because that would change everything.”

Thor didn’t know what Loki meant with that, but his heart hurt nonetheless.

On Friday evening, Fandral finally managed to get Thor out of his dorm room and to a party, the last big one before the christmas holidays, he said.

Usually, Thor wouldn’t need to be convinced, but he’d spent two hours in a phone conference with his dad and business partners in Oslo, and it had drained him of all energy he had left.

“Maybe Loki will be there,” Fandral had argumented, and that eventually did the job.

Thor had dressed in a clean pair of dark jeans and a tight red sweatshirt - no reason to not show off a little - and off they were.

When Fandral had said ‘the last big party’, Thor hadn’t imagined it to be _that_ big, though. How could he have missed this?

It was starting in a nightclub that had apparently been rented for the night by the college elite - namely, his friends from the football team cooperating with the Rich Kids -, and he was greeted with open arms.

It was a neon party, stroboscope light flashing and the bass shaking the ground, and although Thor didn’t even catch a glimpse of Loki, he forgot his disappointment after the third or fourth beer and simply enjoyed the writhing masses and his mates’ roaring laughter, contagious and warm.

Fandral had disappeared deep into the club pretty early to find someone to make out with, but Thor didn’t mind. He was used to it, and there were enough people present that he knew.

Someone painted his face with colors that glowed in the dark, even going as far as painting their lips and then pressing them to his cheek to leave an imprint, and he was having so much fun that the night was flying by. 

He danced, drank, caught up with his mates, drank, danced some more, got kissed on his other cheek, and generally had a great time.

When he was about to leave the party in the early hours of the morning, drunkenly hailing a cab and remarkably carefree despite having to get up in a few hours again for the charity project, he noticed his phone buzzing in his pocket.

After he’d climbed into the car and told the driver the address, he pulled out his phone and needed a few seconds to register the name. Then, he excitedly opened the message.

 **Prettier Than You (2:03am):** **_*photo attached*_** **already heading home? booooring**

Thor clicked on the photo to be able to see it properly. It was him, standing in the entrance of the club on his way out, paint on his face glowing, body half-turned, and cheerily waving at someone inside. Dave, he remembered, a friend from his microeconomics class who had hollered a drunken goodbye through the club.

**Thor Borson (2:04am): thought u wernt there, didnt see u!**

He briefly considered telling the driver to turn around, but that would be ridiculous and slightly pathetic. Besides, he needed at least a few hours of sleep before he was able to deal with kids again, it wouldn’t do to party through the night and go straight to the project afterwards.

**Prettier Than You (2:05am): pfff course I y am, as if I’d let a party like thst slip ;)**

**Thor Borson (2:05am): stupid me cuorse u wiuldnt**

There was no reply after that, and Thor couldn’t stop asking himself what Loki might be doing right now. 

He grinned at the thought of Loki having taken the time to text him although he was probably back in the middle of the dancefloor by now, but he also couldn’t deny his almost overwhelming need to be there, too, and the swell of possessiveness. 

So many people had grinded their asses against Thor today, had danced close enough to touch, but he wished he’d been there with Loki. Wished that the little brat had been in front of him, pressing his back against Thor’s chest while writhing against him, turning his head to look at him over his shoulder, an expression almost delirious from the alcohol and dancing on his pretty baby face, a face that begged Thor to cradle and kiss until his lips were puffy and red and little mewling sounds were spilling out of that sweet mouth.

He squirmed in his seat, jeans suddenly feeling much too tight.

The cab came to a stop, and Thor blinked out of the window confusedly, not having realized that they were already there.

“Thanks,” he said, tossing a few bills at the driver, and clumsily got out of the car.

His phone buzzed in his hand.

**Prettier Than You (2:14am): ur spelling is horrendous**

Booming laughter erupted from him, and while he stumbled forward, he typed concentratedly.

**Thor Borson (2:15am): ass if urs was better**

This time, the answer came instantly.

**Prettier Than You (2:15am): course my ass is better, didn’t u see it?**

Thor choked, thoughts screeching to a halt.

 _Yes,_ Loki’s ass was most definitely one of the most exquisite sights he had ever been granted, even if he had only seen it clad in jeans yet - _yet,_ his boozed mind supplied helpfully, and heat was pulsing through his body in waves -, but could he simply say that?

 _Fuck it,_ he decided, and started typing. Loki was obviously in a mood for flirting, so he would do just that.

**Thor Borson (2:18am): I did, cant say I hate ot**

Finally, Thor stood in front of his dorm room, pulling out his key and giggling to himself when he needed a few tries to unlock the door.

He strode inside, kicking off his shoes and throwing his phone on his bed, before he fought to get rid of his jeans and sweatshirt.

Free of his clothes except the boxers, he flopped down on his bed - or rather, fell forwards gracelessly after having tripped over something on his floor, hidden in the dark.

Grunting, he pulled his legs towards him to get the blanket out from under him, and searchingly patted around on the mattress for his phone. There.

**Prettier Than You (2:24am): rly? that’s a little harsh :(**

He grinned. If that wasn’t fishing for compliments at its finest. It didn’t take much imagination to picture the other man pouting, a picture most appealing.

**Thor Borson (2:25am): hmm I feel lik I cant remember it too well**

A few minutes passed, and despite his lingering arousal, Thor’s eyelids drooped while he squinted at the bright screen, his mind going slow and hazy.

The buzz of the phone startled him into awakeness again, and after blinking rapidly, he clicked on a new photo Loki had sent.

 **Prettier Than You (2:32am):** **_*photo attached*_ ** **maybe that helps**

Thor swallowed, his dick hardening in interest.

The picture showed, clearly, Loki’s ass, clad in tight leather trousers and grinding back against someone’s crotch.

A fierce surge of possessiveness was rushing through Thor’s veins, although he knew that he had no right to feel this way, along with renewed arousal that nearly made him dizzy.

Directly above the hem of Loki’s trousers, a big sliver of his pale back was revealed, so he was probably wearing a crop top or something similar, and if _that_ wasn’t an image to behold. On the right side of his back, not really the center of attention in the photo, something dark was building a contrast to the white skin, and Thor needed a moment to figure out that it was a tattoo.

 _God, he’s so damn hot,_ Thor whined to himself, and shifted his hips, trying to ignore the throbbing hardness between his legs, but ending up unable to do so.

One hand wandering downwards and sneaking into his boxers, he used his other hand to send a quick reply.

**Thor Borson (2:37am): alright u win, #1 ass**

**Prettier Than You (2:38am): ;)**

Opening the picture again, Thor stared at Loki’s ass and imagined the crotch pressing against it to be his own, imagined how Loki would feel writhing against him, grinding back, teasing and unashamed.

Thor stroked himself, not even bothering to go slow but letting out all that pent up sexual frustration and need with firm, quick jerks of his hand that soon had him panting.

How he would make that brat moan, pulling him away from the dancefloor into a toilet cabin, only to press him against the wall and pound him hard and thoroughly.

It would be filthy and disgusting, but utterly perfect because Loki would whine under him, squirming because it was too much and too rough, and yet begging him for more, to go faster, push deeper.

Thor’s cock was leaking now, and he spread the pre-come around, easing the movements of his hand.

He’d flip Loki and lift him up, the need to see his face crumbling with pleasure overwhelming as he’d bang him against the wall, plucking his mewls and moans directly from his tongue while starting to jerk him off with one hand.

With a low groan, Thor sped up his movements, toes curling as he felt his orgasm rushing closer.

He imagined the feeling of Loki’s ass around him, his butt cheeks spread apart to let in Thor’s cock, and with two more strokes, he came with a growl.

Panting, Thor lay there for a moment, feeling heavy and still pleasantly buzzed.

After getting that pic, there wasn’t really any more doubt if Loki wanted Thor’s attention, and Thor smiled dopiley, happy to have that sorted out, finally.

Too lazy to get up and pad to the common bathroom, he wiped his hand clean on his boxers, drifting off into a satisfied sleep.

Around four o’clock, he woke up again, throat dry and a disgusting taste in his mouth.

He grabbed his water bottle from the nightstand and emptied it with a few big gulps, eyes widening when he realized that he hadn’t set an alarm for when he needed to get up.

Patting along his mattress, he found his phone under his cushion, and blinked blearily at the screen when it lit up.

There was another message from Loki.

 _No, set the alarm first or you’ll forget it,_ the voice in his head demanded, sounding like his mum. He snorted.

Alarm set, he opened Loki’s message.

 **Prettier Than You (3:44am):** **_*photo attached*_ ** **sweet dreams, idiot :***

Stomach squirming - not an entirely pleasant sensation with all the alcohol in it -, Thor tapped on his phone to open the photo.

It was Loki, sweet, playful, teasing Loki, making puckered lips into the camera as if he was reaching up to kiss it. His lips were painted in a neon green, faintly glowing in the half-dark…

With a bolt that made the world spin around him, Thor sat upright and searched for the light on his nightstand. He switched it on and got out of bed once he’d recovered from the dizziness and nausea, and tapped across his cold floor towards his mirror.

He ignored his hideous mess of hair and turned his face to the side. There. A faint green imprint on his left cheek, a little smudged and not glowing in the low light of his room, but definitely there. But how…?

Suddenly, Thor remembered the second kiss on his cheek, the one he hadn’t fully realized until whoever had kissed him had vanished into the masses again, and Thor hadn’t paid it any mind. It wasn’t a thing that hadn’t happened before.

But now, with that picture that Loki had sent…

Slowly, Thor brought his hand up and touched the imprint on his face, utterly dumbfounded.

He’d write it off as a coincidence, but with Loki, that didn’t seem right.

Not a coincidence but a game.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The chapter that is based on the very first scene I wrote for the fic, which was, of course, smut xD  
> For all Steve Rogers lovers, I'm sorry, but your mans might be a little ooc here, I needed him to act in a certain way.  
> Also, enjoy a little urban art bc our babby is artistic

_Sky pink_

_Another night gone_

_Life rushing by if you’re not careful_

_All you had_

_Dust in the wind_

_Bodies hot_

_Beat hammering_

_Need building up like a wave_

_Crashing down_

_Ways parting again_

_White powder_

_Nose burning_

_World stopping for a moment_

_Then spinning again_

_Even faster_

_Sirens howling_

_Blood on the carpet_

_Scars that you don’t see anymore_

_Grinning broadly_

_Back in the streets_

_Lights flashing_

_Music too loud_

_Nobody cares because nobody feels_

_Another night gone_

_Sky pink_

_“The Blink Of An Eye” by Loki Ymirson (18)_

xxxxxxxxxx

  
  


Arriving at the charity project building almost a quarter hour before the assembly, Thor strolled around the parking lot slowly, internally wallowing in his misery with every step, totally not hoping for Loki to turn up early so that they’d have a few more minutes to talk alone.

To excuse his embarrassing behavior to himself, he reasoned that he could use the spare time perfectly well to help Steve prepare the room in case Loki didn’t arrive early - which was what he ended up doing.

While Thor strode through the clean lobby, as always greeting and being greeted by the receptionist with a friendly smile, he wondered if Loki would be in a bad mood again because he had to participate in the project and additionally certainly had a hangover today. 

Once again, Thor thought that the younger man didn’t seem upset about the project itself, but more about the fact that he was unable to make it to his painting class, which was fair, in Thor’s opinion. Besides, community service was a much better option than jail. Thor didn’t know if Loki would’ve gone to juvenile hall or an adult jail, but neither sounded more appealing than playing with children every Saturday and bringing them stuffed animals. Now that he thought about it, his punishment wasn’t so bad, but on the other hand, how expensive could it be to remove one graffiti? It probably wasn’t even on a public building, but in a ruin or subway tunnel.

When he came to room 105, the plain white door was slightly ajar, so he knocked and pushed it open.

“Thor,” Steve greeted him, lips morphing into a surprised smile. “You’re early.”

He was standing in front of today’s boxes, and Thor sauntered over to jovially clasp his shoulder and have a look at the boxes’ content.

“Yeah, left college too early and thought I might as well help you here.”

“I really appreciate that,” Steve replied, “but we’ll head to different nursing homes and hospitals again to gift the children stuffed animals. It’s all set and done, I was only checking if there are enough in every box.”

“Oh,” Thor smiled, and couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and surveying the teddy bear he’d pulled out, “they’ll be so happy about these. This really is a great project.”

“Thank you. It means a lot to me. Bucky and I have started the project seven years ago, and Sam joined us four years later. When we first had the idea, we’d never anticipated that so many people are willing to help, or that we’d raise this much money every year to support the cause.”

Steve moved towards the tables, pouring himself a cup of coffee, and looked at Thor questioningly with the coffee pot in hand.

“Please.” He definitely needed the extra dosis caffeine today.

Leaning his hip against a chair, Thor closed his eyes and soaked up the heat of the drink, mind blank and an uncomfortable queasiness in his stomach.

He was grateful to not have to work outside today. Rain was drizzling down, that kind that you felt deep down in your bones, and it had gotten incredibly cold.

“So, how do you like your group?” Steve asked after a moment of silence, only interrupted by sipping sounds.

Blinking his eyes open, Thor saw the man watching him with a serious, yet not unfriendly expression.

“I think they’re great. I don’t know how the others see it, but there is noone I feel uncomfortable with, and they’re all intent on making the kids smile.”

He watched Steve lift a corner of his mouth, but his eyes remained serious. 

“So there are no quarrels? No… fallouts?”

Calmly, Thor held the other’s gaze, eventually understanding what he wanted from him.

“No. No fallouts.” He heard how hard his own voice sounded, but he couldn’t help himself.

A few beats of silence passed, before Steve sighed and decreased the tension that had built up through their staring contest.

“Look, I’m not sure if you know it… in fact, I don’t think anybody knows it besides Buck, Sam, and I, but Loki isn’t here on his own volition.”

“I know,” Thor answered, voice still firm and a little chillier than usual.

Steve’s brows shot up. “Really? Sam had already told me that you two...have gotten quite close, but I wouldn’t have thought-”

“We have. We might’ve had a few problems in the beginning, but we’re actually getting along well.”

Knowing himself, Thor sensed that he should stop this conversation as soon as possible because it really riled him up. It wasn’t fair for people to judge Loki like that only because he’d made a mistake. And maybe he was bratty and manipulative and didn’t respect rules the way they were intended, but was he automatically a bad person because of this?

At least Steve seemed to think so because he shook his head and replied: “That is why I’ve wanted to talk to you. This isn’t the first time Loki has gotten into trouble with the police, and this time he only got out of it because I already knew him and offered to overlook his work here. Sam, Buck, and I, we’ve all been in the military, so we qualify for tasks like this in the eyes of the authorities. He doesn’t… Loki doesn’t work well under me, so we decided to put him under Sam’s watch, together with Anna and Kat who both have teenagers themselves at home, and I thought if he has someone in his age…”

Thor tried to interrupt, but Steve didn’t let him. “No, listen to me, Thor. In the end, you alone decide what you do and don’t, but I want you to really think about this. You might not want to believe me, but a person like Loki, as much as I wish it was different, is so used to causing trouble that it’s difficult for him to stop. He is considered a bad influence, which is why I had such problems getting the permittance of having him participate in a children’s community service project.”

“I am no child,” Thor ground out, aggravated and defiant, and Steve sighed tiredly.

“No, you’re not. But can you say without a doubt that he won’t drag you down?”

“This isn’t any of your business. I don’t even know why we’re talking about this.”

Steve watched him with a sad expression. “It isn’t. I only wanted you to be aware of it. Because this way, you’re maybe stronger than the vortex that has dragged him down multiple times already.”

Thor stared at him, the man that he’d really liked and admired for his kind heart, but he’d never have anticipated that he could be so judging. In any case, he shouldn’t go around and tell people who maybe could befriend Loki what a bad person he was. Which person managed to keep their head above water without people holding out their hand for them?

“Whatever you might think of him, he’s not a bad guy, and whatever his past is and the reason for being here, it has never influenced his behavior towards the children. He’s been nothing but amazing with them, and I don’t think anyone in our group would tell you something different.”

Not able to tolerate even one more word of this, Thor turned around and left the room.

His anger management wasn’t good enough to deal with this shit. He needed fresh air immediately.

The next hours were uneventful and simultaneously a horrible torture.

Thor was still miserable - although that second cup of coffee had worked wonders on his tired brain -, but that wasn’t the reason for this particular kind of torture.

The second he saw Loki strolling in - in his usual, tight black jeans and leather jacket, but with _eyeliner_ \- he’d had problems not to stare at him too obviously.

Because the universe was unfair, Loki still looked splendid albeit exhausted. On Thor’s question how long he had stayed, the man had only grinned and replied that there was nothing like watching the sun rise over the city, so Thor guessed _he_ had partied until the morning and come here straight after changing clothes.

Before their car ride, Loki smoked a cigarette and listened to Thor grumpily ranting about always having to carry all the boxes - which he usually really didn’t mind, but he was _tired_ -, a quiet smile in the corner of his mouth, before coming closer and leaning up to him, face only inches apart and eyes twinkling.

He squeezed Thor’s bicep, and said: “Well, if you can’t even carry a box of stuffed animals, what for do you have these?”

The fantasy from yesterday flashed before Thor’s eyes, Loki hoisted up in his arms and Thor fucking him against the wall, and if Sam wouldn’t have come out of the building, loudly chattering with Anna, Thor would have crowded the brat against the doorframe of the car and kissed him senseless.

As it was now, he only watched helplessly as Loki licked his lips, eyes slightly hooded, before he forced himself to take a step back and walk around the car.

“These,” he answered, upper body half-turned and throwing Lok a pointed look, “are for boxing matches and other fun things.”

With this, he let himself fall into the car, Loki’s laughter in his ears, even more smokey than usually due to the alcohol and partying the night before.

When they were giving out the plushies, Loki stood next to him, their elbows brushing every now and then, and Thor could feel his proximity with every fiber of his being.

The raven-haired man smiled openly and beautifully, and Thor had to admit it to himself: he was absolutely smitten. And so damn horny.

His doom was when Loki saw something glittering on the floor, though - a child’s earring, as Thor’s brain would register much too late - and bent over to retrieve it. The sight of his shapely ass right in front of him would’ve been enough to make Thor lose control over his thoughts, especially after having masturbated to a picture of it just a few hours ago, but seeing Loki’s shirt ride up and reveal a sliver of undergarment that suspiciously looked like a thong was too much for him to bear.

For the second time that day, he had to head out and get some fresh air.

“I want to show you something,” Loki said after they were finished for that day.

They were standing on the curb before the charity project building, traffic noises in their ears and the smell of city hanging heavy in the air. It was cold, but at least the drizzle had stopped.

Thor curiously raised his eyebrows, silently waiting for the younger one to elaborate, who stared at the ground next to Thor with his nose buried in his enormous scarf and a crease in his forehead, giving off uncharacteristically nervous vibes.

“You have asked me what exactly I sprayed for the cops to threaten to put me into jail,” he continued, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket. How could he stand to walk around in that thin thing in these temperatures? 

Rocking back and forth on his feet, Loki finally made eye contact, gaze searching and a little unsure. “Do you want to see it?”

Excitement rushed through Thor, not only because he really wanted to see the graffiti, but also because Loki trusted him enough with this. Maybe Thor interpreted too much into this and was only a ridiculous sap, but his heart was feeling light in his chest.

“Yes, I’d love to!” He grinned at the younger man. “Show me, Loki.”

Loki lit up, an excited grin overtaking his own face now, and bounced back on his heels. “Then, follow me, my dearest lover of urban art.”

That was how Loki could be described on the entire way: bouncing, nearly bursting from excitement, and beautifully carefree.

They ended up taking the subway because apparently, the place was easier to reach like that, and while they were driving, they were quietly chattering about college, interests, anecdotes, the time Thor had accidentally broken his boxing partner’s jaw, and many other topics that meant nothing and everything.

If someone had told Thor weeks ago, after his and Loki’s first official meeting, how easy being with him could be and how right it felt, he wouldn’t have believed them. The younger man could still be an incredible pain in the ass and drive Thor up the wall, like last week when the latter had somehow unknowingly insulted Shakespeare and Loki might or might not have hidden a book Thor had lend out for an assignment somewhere in the library until Thor had been willing to let himself be lectured. But that was actually what kept Thor on edge, kept catching his interest and attention every time anew.

In the past, Thor had lost interest in his partners so quickly that he’d sometimes stayed with them a few weeks longer only because he was annoyed with himself for having such a short attention span, and when he’d realized that it wasn’t likely to change in the foreseeable future, he’d stopped having serious relationships altogether and moved to casual dating instead, having party flings and taking whoever he was currently interested in to business events. Eventually, his mum had stopped asking if he didn’t want to bring someone home, and his dad didn’t care anyway as long as _Asgard_ or the Borson name in general wasn’t slandered in the newspapers. Thor had learned to not pressure himself in that - if he was no type for long-term relationships, so what, it was all fair game as long as his partners knew about that from the beginning -, but somehow, with Loki, he wanted to find out if there wasn’t a chance that it would work out. Thor genuinely enjoyed the time they spent together, and he’d undeniably be upset and hurt if the man would disappear from his life. That was more than he could say about a few of his more recent love interests.

He followed Loki out of the subway when they arrived at the right station, an industrial district, and they made their way through the streets, passing grey and depressing buildings and parked trucks, iron fences and even barbed wire.

The young man was still humming with that strange sort of energy, and it took Thor a while to figure out why: this was Loki showing him a part of his world. He opened the door for Thor to see what was behind it, showing him a room instead of only a glimpse through the keyhole, and he was as excited about this as it made him nervous. He expected Thor’s judgement, like someone visiting someone else’s home for the first time.

Finally, they were standing in front of an old building, the wall separating it from the curb completely painted in the brightest colors, except the iron gate in the middle. Thor’s eyes roamed over the wall again and again, and yet he was sure that he was unable to see it all. Red bricks built up from the bottom, vines breaking through them at some point, slinging higher and higher until they crawled over the edge and vanished into the landscape behind. And what a landscape it was. Lush green meadows stretched in the distance, interrupted by fields of dainty white flowers and lakes that reflected the light of a warm, yellow-orange sun. Behind that, mountains were faintly noticeable, only their outlines, clouded by mist. On the left and right side of the wall, directly behind the sprayed red bricks and framing the picture in a way that directed the attention back towards the meadows, a forest exploded, cherry blossoms and birds bringing colorful spots into the various greens, branches hanging over the brick wall as if they were reaching out towards the street, leaves so incredibly detailed that Thor had to step closer and touch them. He ran his fingers along them, feeling the rough surface of the concrete wall underneath, but only seeing the beauty in front of him.

“This is incredible,” he whispered, noticing a canary in a tree with silvery bark and reaching up to trace its shape.

Breathlessly, he turned towards Loki. “You painted that?”

The man was watching him with a warm glow on his face, smile soft and eyes full of emotion. “Yes, I did.”

Thor only shook his head in wonder, taking a few steps back to watch the picture as a whole from a little farther away, coming to a halt next to Loki.

“Amazing. It’s so beautiful, I don’t even know what to say.” Eyes still glued to the branches of a particularly pretty cherry blossom tree, he tried to find the right words. “It’s as if the nature was breaking through the wall. As if nothing could stop it.”

He turned towards Loki again, full of awe and admiration, and saw that the other man was fighting with his own emotional turmoil, seemingly overwhelmed by Thor’s reaction.

Giving in to the urge to touch, Thor reached out and rested his hand on Loki’s neck, gazing into his eyes to try and show Loki what his mouth failed to say.

“I love it,” he added honestly.

Loki leaned in and kissed him.

It was the sweetest kiss Thor could have imagined, utterly unlike the passionate ones he’d pictured before, but much better than everything he could’ve come up with on his own. 

Loki’s body went pliant in his arms, the tip of his nose cold when it bumped against Thor’s, who slid his hand into the raven black hair to cradle his head. A soft little sound fell from Loki’s lips at that, making Thor all warm and mushy from the inside, and he deepened the kiss, his other hand settling on the small of Loki’s back.

Pressing closer, Loki locked his arms behind Thor’s neck, lightly scratching his nails along the sensitive skin and making Thor shudder.

They were standing like this for as long as they had air, unhurriedly making out in front of a beautifully painted scenery in the middle of an otherwise grey and dreary district.

When he really needed to breathe, Thor slowly pulled away, opening his eyes that he’d apparently shut at some point. 

He found Loki already watching him with an expression that could only be described as quiet wonder, and with a swell of overpowering fondness, Thor leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“What was that for?” the younger one murmured, eyes shining under the gentle caress.

“For taking you with me. For letting me see.” 

Thor didn’t say ‘ _For letting me see you’_ , but the way Loki’s eyes seemed to glaze over with tears, he’d understood nonetheless.

Searching for something to stop the emotional overload before the younger one cried for real, Thor slightly turned his head, and his gaze landed on the wall once more.

“I can’t believe that they wanted to send you to jail for something so beautiful.”

A giggle resounded, and confusedly, Thor looked down.

“Oh, this wasn’t the reason why they wanted to put me into jail. At least I don’t think so.”

That only increased Thor’s confusion. With furrowed brows, he leaned back to better see Loki’s expression. “What do you mean?”

A mischievous grin crawled over Loki’s face, and he stepped back from Thor, plucking his jacket and scarf into position again. “They almost caught me, but I was quick enough to disappear. I had to leave behind my spray cans, though, and they’re fucking expensive. That annoyed me.”

Unsettled, Thor asked: “What did you do?”

Loki had started to walk back into the direction of the subway station again, and threw a wicked glance over his shoulder from under his lashes. “I played a game with them.”

As it turned out, Loki had started a scavenger hunt with the police, one that could be entirely tracked by sitting in the S7 and glancing out of the right windows.

The first time Loki told him to pay attention, Thor hadn’t known what to expect yet - until they slowed down for the next station, and he saw the beginnings of a graffiti roll closer.

Quickly glancing at Loki to check if this was what they were looking for, his huge grin was confirmation enough.

Thor scooted closer to the window, and when he realized what he was seeing, he started laughing out loud.

A big cartoon turtle was adorning the wall, a blue police officer cap on its head and a banner above it, reading “Too slow”.  
The next graffiti they saw was a grizzly with police cap trying and failing to catch a salmon, the banner reading “Try again”, then a police pig with a chocolate smeared snout, a half-eaten donut in its hands and “Stop being lazy”, a police crocodile snapping but not quite catching a magpie with one end of the banner in its beak, saying “Phew, that was close”, and at last a raven, having cheekily stolen another pig’s cap - although, maybe it was the same one -, this time no banner but a speech bubble saying “Thanks for the game, no prize for you”.

Thor had an outright laughing fit at the enraged expression on the pig’s face, and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, unable to form coherent sentences that went beyond dying sounds and coughing.

It didn’t help that Loki was almost crying from laughter, too, and so they were still wheezing when they left the subway, having arrived somewhere in the city. Loki seemed to know the way.

Because they both didn’t want the day to end, they ended up in a bar nearby, feeling carefree and exhilarated.

When they had managed to get boozed again although they had partied just the night before, Thor leaned forward and looked Loki in the eyes, suddenly remembering what he’d originally wanted to ask. “Loki. The graffitis were great and all, but where did they catch you?”

“Shhh, you idiot,” Loki scolded, squinting at him as if he wasn’t already punished with community service, and that fact had Thor snorting.

“No, really. Was it in the tunnels?”

The cartoons had seemed finished, but maybe he just hadn’t been shown the next one.

Snorting derisively, Loki leaned back from him. “As if I was stupid enough to get caught during my own game.” 

He looked at Thor as if he was severely disappointed in him, and Thor felt a little bad, then.

“But where?”

Loki considered him for a moment, brows furrowed in thought, before he nodded to himself. 

“I’ll show you. Follow me.” 

With that, he hopped down from his bar hocker and vanished into the night, completely forgetting minor things such as paying his latest drink that was still open due to the busy night.

Thor pulled out his wallet and tipped off the barkeeper, then hurried to catch up with Loki as quickly as possible.

Only that the man wasn’t in front of the bar where Thor had expected to find him, so he was looking around a little helplessly. “Loki?”

No answer, only strangers that first turned towards and then away from him as soon as they registered that he was searching for someone.

“Loki!”

Thor started to slowly walk along the street, peeking into this club and that bar, turning back around to watch the other end of the street to see if he’d overlooked him. No trace of him.

Was he playing a prank on Thor? If so, it wasn’t a very funny one because losing the younger man in the cold darkness unsettled him, and his anxiety spiked his anger.

What was he thinking? Disappearing like that! Didn’t he know what could happen to people who got lost in the dark? Drunk and alone, not even wearing a warm jacket…

“ _Loki!_ ”

Wandering further down the road, he pulled out his phone and was just about to call the other man when he heard voices on his left.

He cocked his head and listened closely, finally identifying Loki’s velvety purr. It came out of an alley, speaking to someone in a low voice.

With big strides, he headed in their direction, parts of the conversation drifting towards him.

“...sure we’ll find a solution, Brad. As I was saying…”

“...care for your solutions! You owe me that shit!”

“And I never said you wouldn’t get it. I am financially not that stable at the moment-”

“Not that stable! Are you kidding me!”

“What’s going on here?” Thor growled, instinctively positioning himself between Loki and two shady guys that turned towards him with aggressive faces.

“Who are you? Don’t you see that’s a private conversation?” one of them snarled.

“I’m here with him,” Thor stated, not moving an inch.

He knew people like them, they always spewed lots of bullshit and barked at everyone passing by, but in the end, they’d fuck off with their tails between their legs.

“Is that so? Didn’t know you have a bodyguard now,” the first one said.

“Probably better that way, if the fucker doesn’t pay his debts,” spat the second one.

“What are they talking about?” Thor asked Loki without taking his eyes off the two creatures in front of him.

He heard an irritated sigh from behind him, before the younger one answered: “I might owe them a little money that they should’ve gotten two weeks ago.”

“A little money?!” one of them hissed. “We’re talking about two hundred bucks!”

“And you’ll get it,” Loki butted in again, voice remarkably smooth for the aggressive tension in the air. “Just not now because I need a little more time. Give me one week, and I can pay you back. Deal?”

“The deal was two weeks ago, you son of a bitch!” one of them exploded and stepped closer, but Thor shifting his weight was enough to have him halt in his tracks. “I want the money on Monday! I don’t care how you do it, if you streetwalk the whole weekend, but you fucking bring me my cash!”

Thor couldn’t stop the dangerous snarl leaving his throat, and this time he stepped forward, looming over the two blokes and putting all that body muscle to show that he had. “Fuck off.”

“What?!” the enraged one hissed, but the other one was hitting his arm and slowly backing out of the alley.

“Come on, Brad. Don’t be stupid. He’ll break your neck if you lay a finger on his precious princess.”

“Pff,” Brad huffed, but followed the other one’s example, somehow managing to hold Loki’s gaze around Thor’s bulk. “Monday. I have my cash on monday, or I’ll find a way to make you regret it!”

Even after several seconds had passed, there was still silence in the alley, the tension not having left Thor’s body yet.

He turned around.

“What was this about? Why are you owing them two hundred bucks?”

Loki stepped away from him, or rather attempted to, apparently more drunk than Thor had realized.

“That’s none of your business,” he hissed, but averted his eyes.

With one big stride, Thor was standing in front of him, grabbing his jaw and forcing him to meet his eyes. No games now, not when it was so dangerous.

“Not my business?” Thor growled, frustrated that the man was being difficult now of all moments. “Would it have been my business if I’d lost you for good? If I’d left without you, only to read about your dead body in the newspapers tomorrow?”

Angrily, Loki yanked his face free and brought more distance between them. “You’re ridiculous. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Am I? And what if they’ve had a knife? What if they’d simply wanted to let out their aggressions? You’re not even sober!”

“I don’t need a strong man to protect me,” Loki spat, his eyes burning furiously despite his apparent effort to stand straight. “I’m perfectly capable of doing so myself.”

Thor considered him for a moment. “I don’t doubt that.” He stepped closer again, right into Loki’s space, and held his gaze. There was a sudden ache in his chest, the desperate need for Loki to understand. If Thor only wasn’t boozed. His hand itched with the urge to touch, but chances were that the younger one would simply bite him. “I didn’t do it because I thought you’re unable to protect yourself. I thought that you deserve someone who stays at your side, or even steps in front of you if necessary.”

Loki stared at him, mouth slightly open, expression unbelieving and somehow… broken.

Giving in to the itch, Thor reached out and laid his hand on Loki’s neck, hoping to offer reassurance with that gesture. Whether he offered it to Loki or himself, Thor couldn’t say.

He’d always wondered why so many people had difficulties to accept his protection, his desire to keep them safe, when it was just his way to care for them. Did they think it made them weak? Lessen their value?

“You’re not weak, Loki.” He pulled the younger one closer, shaking him lightly. “You’re not weak, you’re worth it.”

A suspiciously wet sheen made Loki’s alluring eyes shine even brighter, and when Thor was just about to lean in, Loki grinned, raggedly like shattered glass, and shook off the grip on him.

“Oh, am I? And what exactly is my worth?” He stumbled back, but caught himself quickly, his grin gaining a malicious tint.

Confusedly, Thor furrowed his brow and tried to close the distance again, but Loki started laughing and retreated even further into the dark alley.

“Go on, answer me. Tell me what I’m worth.”

Alarm bells were going off in Thor’s head, but he couldn’t come up with a good reply. How was he supposed to answer that question?

 _The world_ , the idiotic-sappy side of his buzzed mind supplied, but he bit his tongue.

He opened and closed his mouth several times, taking another step into Loki’s direction, who was laughing even harder.

“Thought so. Am I worth enduring my presence? All the trouble I’m causing? The ‘bad influence’ I have on you?”

That had Thor standing rooted in place, remembering the conversation he’d had with Steve.

“Yeah, that’s right, I heard you. How my fucked-up personality is going to corrupt you. I’ll probably endanger your grades, too, your whole future. Aren’t you scared that I’ll taint your image? Or will I be your dirty little secret?”

“Loki, I-“

But Loki didn’t give him the chance to defend himself, to tell him that he didn’t care about what Steve had said.

With a few stumbling steps, Loki was standing in front of Thor again and pushed. Because he didn’t expect that at all and was still trying to come up with a decent reply, Thor went with it, and his back hit the wall of the house behind him.

“Tell me, Thor,” Loki murmured, rolling his name exaggeratedly, almost like a purr. His hands were firmly pressed against Thor’s chest, holding him trapped against the wall, and the length of his warm, lithe body was flush against Thor’s, a horrible distraction. Instinctively, Thor rested his hands on Loki’s hips, unable to do anything but stand there and listen to Loki’s poisonous words. “Am I worth it?” He leaned forward even more, whispering into Thor’s ear. “Is a good fuck worth all the effort?”

Thor’s brain short circuited, and although the alarm bells were still shrilling, he couldn’t hear them over the blood rushing in his ears, straight down between his legs.

Loki turned his face towards him, eyes burning with fury and lust, and when he continued to speak, Thor’s gaze dropped to Loki’s mouth, not more than a handbreadth away, reddened by alcohol.

“See for yourself, maybe then you can finally give a fucking answer.”

With that, Loki sank down to his knees and reached for the zipper of Thor’s pants.

“Wait, Loki, I-,” Thor tried, but when a hand firmly gripped his half-hard cock and pulled it out, he cut himself off with a gasp, tangling his own hands into beautiful black locks.

Mesmerized, Thor stared down on Loki, who slowly stroked his length to full hardness, free hand gripping Thor’s thigh for leverage, kneading it appreciatively before settling on its final position.

The cold air hit Thor and made him shiver, but the sensations that tingled through his body more than made up for it.

“Mhmmm, you _are_ big,” Loki breathed, eyes focused on the task at hand, and although Thor already knew that he was well-bestowed, he couldn’t help the swell of pride at hearing it from the man in front of him.

When Loki nuzzled his nose against Thor’s velvety length and inhaled, Thor had to close his eyes because it was all too much.

Another gasp left his mouth when he felt a tongue tracing his veins, and he curled his toes in pleasure as Loki started sucking on the head, hand continuing to move over everything his lips didn’t reach.

“Loki,” Thor sighed, tightening and relaxing his fingers in the man’s hair repeatedly while trying not to buck his hips forward.

A moan resounded from below him, and Thor opened his eyes just in time to see how Loki’s lips stretched around his dick, taking in more and more before coming back up, only to immediately go down on him again.

The wet heat encircling him together with that obscene image ripped a long groan out of Thor’s throat, and Loki’s eyes flickered up to him. His pupils were dilated, and the thought that this here brought Loki pleasure, too, was enough to finally buck forward.

Loki made a muffled sound, but it didn’t seem to be a protest. Instead, he started bobbing his head faster, sucking harder, and it got more and more difficult for Thor to restrain himself.

“Yes,” he panted as Loki hollowed his cheeks, and bucked forward again, listening to Loki’s gagging when he hit the back of his throat. “Ghnn. It feels so good, so perfect.”

The drool escaping Loki’s lips made it easier for his hand to slide up and down in synch with his mouth, the slurping and their moans and pants the only sounds disturbing the quiet of the night in the alley.

Thor’s hands in Loki’s hair tightened again, almost yanking on it when Loki pressed his tongue into the slit of the head, and Thor was just about to apologize when Loki closed his eyes and moaned like a porn star.

_He likes it._

The vibrations made Thor cry out, and he pushed his hips forward with more intent this time, wanting to hear Loki gag and moan around his dick until Thor spilled down his throat.

“Yes, that’s it, yes, yes,” Thor praised him, tucking on Loki’s hair and groaning even louder when he felt just the hint of Loki’s teeth graze the sensitive skin.

Loki dropped his hand from Thor’s dick to squeeze his own erection through his pants, and Thor used that opportunity to push in without any restrictions. The way Loki choked was hot, but how quickly he recovered without even batting an eyelash, how _eager_ he appeared for more, drove Thor crazy.

“You like that, don’t you,” he panted while he held Loki’s head in place, eyes fixed on his face as to not miss any hints of panic.

When Loki lifted his gaze, all breath was knocked out of Thor momentarily. Tears shimmered in Loki’s emerald orbs and clung to his lashes, a few escaping and rolling down his flushed cheeks. His lips were red and plush, drops of drool having gathered in the corners, Thor’s thick length stretching him open wide. His gaze was hazy with pleasure, it basically begged Thor to use him as he wished. It was stunning.

“Look at you, how beautiful you are. So precious.” Thor’s hands wandered to the sides of Loki’s head, fingers still in his hair and thumbs caressing his cheeks, and Loki closed his eyes, squeezed them shut, causing more tears to spill over. “I’m going to fuck your mouth.”

When a wanton moan was his only answer, Thor started moving, increasing his speed and the depth of his thrusts when he didn’t get any resistance.

“Yes, that’s good. Ah, so good. You’re taking it so well. _Ah._ ”

Heat curled in his stomach, and he groaned and panted while coming closer and closer to the edge.

Loki had opened his jeans and pulled out his dick now, working it with quick but unsteady motions, and the sight of it was what Thor needed to reach the peak.

In the moment before he came, when his body was on fire and his mind bordering on insanity, he finally found an answer, although it might not be the right one. “I won’t let you fight on your own, Loki. I won’t.”

Then, his orgasm hit.

With a guttural groan, he snapped his hips forward, trembling through wave after wave, spilling down Loki’s throat and letting him swallow it all.

After a few seconds of heavy panting, Thor cautiously relaxed his fingers and released Loki’s head, slowly giving him free again and pulling out.

He noticed that Loki had come, too, his face exhausted but content, and yet strangely vulnerable.

Having tucked his dick back into his jeans and noticing the young man looking around for something he could use to wipe his hand clean, Thor grabbed Loki’s arm and pulled him up, then took hold of his wrist, bringing his cum stained hand to his mouth and licking it clean, smiling at Loki’s almost shocked sound of surprise. The taste was slightly bitter, but Thor didn’t mind. It was Loki’s spend, and that was enough to revel in it.

Loki watched Thor’s tongue gathering the last splatters of cum from his skin, utterly mesmerized and breathing hard, a lovely blush on his cheeks.

“Delicious,” Thor teased, and Loki looked up just in time to see Thor lean in and kiss him.

It wasn’t nearly as sweet as in front of Loki’s painting this time but sloppy and hungry and tasting of both their spend, and Thor knew that he wouldn’t let Loki go until he’d make him come again tonight, preferably split open on his cock.

But not here. Maybe he could convince Loki to come to his dormitory with him, they would have a warm and comfortable bed and-

Loki stepped back from him, taking a few steadying breaths before straightening and averting his eyes.

“I…” he trailed off when Thor reached out to wipe away a few smudges of eyeliner under his eyes, caught off guard once more.

“Yes?” Thor murmured, and gently raked his fingers through Loki’s raven hair, trying to make him look presentable again.

“I should…” Loki hesitated with finishing his sentence, and Thor got the terrible feeling that the man was trying to say goodbye.

No. No! He didn’t want to let him go, he wanted to hold him close, at least for the night.

He desperately searched his mind for something he could say to keep Loki with him. “You haven’t shown me yet what you wanted in the bar. Where the cops caught you. Will you bring me there?”

Biting his lip, Loki studied him, as if after everything he still wasn’t sure if Thor wanted to be with him. As if he thought if he ran away first, he didn’t give Thor the chance to do so.

Hand cradling Loki’s face, Thor pleaded “Stop running from me”, but it came out like a demand.

Loki huffed. “I’m not running away from anything.”

With that, he turned and started heading out of the alley. “Are you coming? I don’t have all night.”

Silently sighing in relief, Thor hurried to catch up with him.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more art and more smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *yeets chapter out into the void*  
> hope there are no mistakes, I’m sick and my brain doesn’t work properly :/ sorry, pals

_Once I laid down on a meadow, enjoying the sun on my face_

_And falling asleep on the soft grass below me._

_I dreamed that I came to a river, and upon seeing my reflection_

_I discovered that my skin had sprouted feathers, black as the night._

_My arms morphed into wings before my eyes, and when my change_

_Was finished, only their color was remaining of the person I had been,_

_Everything else having given way to a smooth and proud crow._

_Cocking my head, I admired my new garment_

_Before I set off into the sky, distant surface flying by._

_I passed many cities, saw forests and lakes_

_Stretching out below me, rivers like silvery bands_

_Parting the landscape, and strange people with stranger traditions,_

_Bustling around on the ground like ants in their hill._

_I saw mountains and oceans, too high and wide to pass,_

_So I changed my direction and enjoyed the wind rustling my feathers._

_When I had seen so much that my mind was buzzing,_

_I came to a lush, green meadow where a boy was sleeping._

_Carefully, I hopped closer, wondering how it must be_

_To live on the ground, unable to spread my wings and fly._

_As if my thought had caused a spell, I felt my body shifting,_

_And when I blinked open my tired eyes, I stared_

_At a crow, cawing in sympathy before spreading its wings,_

_Taking off into the sky and leaving me behind on the surface_

_In a meadow that had seemed so pretty and green._

_“The Crow” by Loki Ymirson (18)_

xxxxxxxxxx

This time, Loki led him to an old ruin near the docks.

The lighting was terrible here, only a few lanterns spending a dim glow, unable to pierce the dark under the bridges and between the buildings in varying states of decay.

They passed some shady figures who vanished when Thor and Loki came closer, some punks - two of them greeting Loki with friendly smiles before disappearing into a building -, and a homeless person, rolled up in their sleeping bag and with blankets piled on top of them to keep them warm.

After that, Loki and Thor wandered through the quiet night without meeting anyone, both silent except a few brief questions from Thor every now and then and Loki’s monosyllabic answers. The younger man seemed to be far away with his thoughts, and Thor wondered if he was mad because he felt pressured to take Thor with him.

Eventually, they came to a stop at a high cyclone fence, Loki walking along it with the flashlight app in his phone switched on, Thor following behind and pulling out his own phone to help him find the hole that he was obviously searching for.

They found it after a few feet, climbed through - Thor with a little more difficulty due to his considerable body mass -, and walked towards an abandoned building, parts of the walls and roof broken in, rubble all over the place.

Thor wondered if it was dangerous for them to be inside that frail thing, and hoped that they would stay on the first floor and not climb any stairs.

“Is there a risk of the cops getting us?” Thor asked, voice hushed and yet much too loud in the quiet.

“No,” Loki shook his head, “nobody ever comes here. It’s a forgotten place.” He paused a moment before adding: “At least it was until I was ratted out.”

“You what?” Thor asked, now fully turning towards the other man, who sighed deeply.

“Someone told the cops where they could find me. I’d wager it was Carlo, that asshole. He’d threatened me for quite a while now because I know a few things about him that I shouldn’t. He’d be glad if the cops locked me away.”

“That sounds like straight out of a Mafia movie,” Thor murmured, making Loki giggle.

“Well, it’s just like that when you’re in too deep.”

“That sounds as if you wished you weren’t?” he carefully asked, but got no reply.

They stepped over the pieces of wall and roof and entered the building.

“ _This_ is where they found me,” Loki said, and Thor’s squinted through the darkness.

Every inch of the walls around them - or what was remaining of them - was covered in graffitis, chalk, and what seemed to be coal, making it hard to decide where to look first.

Thor stepped closer, holding up his phone to better light the surface in front of him, and saw a big portrait of a young lady, incredibly detailed for being sprayed, loose locks of blonde hair freely flowing around her smiling face. He squinted. She seemed vaguely familiar.

“Is that your friend from college?”

“Do you stalk me?” Loki laughed, but there was no accusation in his voice. “Yes, that’s Amora. Do you know her?”

Thor shook his head while slowly walking along the wall, stumbling over rubble every now and then. “No, I just noticed her at your side a few times.”

“Mhm.”

The background behind the portrait was painted in a light blue, stretching across the wall and fluently melting into what seemed to be a bright royal blue. Patterns, flowers, and vines spread out there, seemingly random and yet far from coincidental. They were drawn with chalk and built a wonderful contrast to the background.

In the corner of the room, the royal blue got even darker as if it was giving in to the shadows, and the next wall looked like a galaxy, solar system domineering the center of it, planets circling big and colorful in their orbits around a bright yellow-orange sun.

“You mentioned being in a science club on high school,” Thor said while he studied the wall. “So you were interested in astronomy?”

Loki stepped up next to him, holding his phone up and surveying the model, too.

“Yeah, my teacher had a big telescope on the roof of our school, and we sometimes stayed until late at night to catch a glimpse of this star constellation or that.”

“You were a nerd,” Thor laughed fondly, reaching out and pulling Loki’s head closer to kiss his temple.

“I guess so,” the younger man mumbled, and turned his face away.

“Hey, I don’t mean that as an insult. I kinda like it. You’re smart as fuck.”

“Idiot,” he huffed, but Thor could see the way Loki’s shoulders relaxed.

They turned towards a third wall, the last one that was intact enough to paint on it, but it wasn’t really painted. It had a bright green background, _emerald green,_ and was littered with text, as if they were looking at a giant book page; only one corner of the wall was empty, a sentence aborted as if the author had been disturbed, and Thor realized that this must’ve been when the cops had finally caught Loki. 

The text wasn’t entirely straight like the lines in a book but also included paragraphs bending crookedly around others, slinging through open spaces like snakes, and sometimes dissolving into birds or leaves, as if their author had set them free.

Loki. Loki was the author. As if Loki had set them free.

“You…” Thor unconsciously said, but was distracted by reading a few fragments here and there. It were poems, mostly, lyrics and thoughts, but sometimes it seemed to be statements as well, demands and exclaims, written in angry, sketchy coal letters.

 _‘Fuck the system!’_ a speck of wall furiously screamed at him, red paint instantly catching the eye.

 _‘But where do we go when the lights go out?’_ asked another.

 _‘If dying feels like falling asleep, then why are people afraid of it?’_ was written above _‘If falling asleep is like dying, then why is nobody afraid of it?’,_ leading to the question _‘Are you afraid?’_

Many phrases seemed to be dark and hopeless, and it saddened Thor, his chest tightening and heart aching with the wish to spend comfort. If Loki really was feeling that way, it was no surprise he was acting out and partying until the morning. Thor had loved a song once, years ago, and the lyrics had said ‘We push ourselves over the edge more often than we should survive, just to forget how dead we are and to pretend that we’re alive’. He imagined it to be similar with Loki.

“Loki…” he started, but before he could finish his sentence, his eyes stuck to a part of the wall that seemed paler, a little faded. As if it was much older than the rest.

Leaning back, Thor noticed that it had to be the center of the wall, everything else spreading out from it, and he wished he could see all of this by daylight.

Only one word was displayed in the center of the wall, letters curved, but steady and bigger than all the others around.

_‘Someday’._

The right branch of the ‘y’ was dissolving into crows, rising up and vanishing between other words, and that was it. Nothing else added to it, but it had a strange magnetism, so Thor found himself stepping forwards, reaching out and tracing it with his fingers.

He hesitated, noticing a handprint on the bottom right below the word, and holding his phone closer to it, he sharply inhaled and turned.

“Is that blood?”

Loki watched him, calmly letting Thor explore on his own, most of his face hidden in the shadows.

He hummed in confirmation. “That was years ago, when I’d first come here. I was… in a bad place, and needed somewhere to hide.”

“What happened?” Thor asked, trying to stay neutral and listen to the story first.

“My… my stepdad doesn’t like me very much. He hates me, in fact. I was still in high school when I came here the first time. I’d had a big fight with him that day, and after it, I left the apartment in a rush.”

Thor deeply inhaled, as silently as possible to not interrupt Loki who seemed willing to talk about his home now, even if it sounded like it would be a sad story. A story that would make Thor angry.

“I searched for a place where nobody could find me, that was entirely my own. Where I could hide and didn’t have to be afraid to be found and sent back home. When I finally came here, I was exhausted and sunk down on the wall, just sitting there.”

Loki was hugging himself, staring holes into the air, lost in the memory.

“I accidentally propped myself up on glass shards that were scattered next to me and reopened a wound in my hand. I still have the scar,” he added softly and showed it to Thor. A fine, white line was running across his right palm, glowing faintly in the light of their phones.

He tucked his hand back under his armpit; whether he did so to continue hugging himself or because he was freezing, Thor didn’t know, but before he could ask, Loki continued his story.

“I was so angry. And hurt. And scared. And I never wanted to go back home, but I also didn’t know where to go, and I didn’t want to leave my mother. So after wailing in my misery for a while, I pressed my bleeding hand against the wall, promising myself that someday, I would get away. Someday, I’d make it out of here.”

Loki stared at his handprint, looking small and lost.

With a lump in his throat and unable to restrain himself further, Thor stepped forwards and pulled his little punk against his chest, engulfing him entirely with his arms and resting his chin on soft black hair.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured, and Loki began to tremble in his arms, a heart-wrenching sob breaking free, and many more following.

“Shhhh, baby, I’ve got you. I’m here. It’s alright,” Thor soothed quietly, and gently rocked them back and forth. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

He felt dampness on his throat where Loki cried into his coat, but he didn’t mind. This was what he was meant to do. Being there when he was needed. Spending comfort. Being a safe place. Protecting.

“Is it still that bad at home?” he asked, and the thought alone made Thor see red. Loki’s stepdad better never cross Thor’s path, or God have mercy with him.

Loki sniffled and lightly shook his head, face still pressed into Thor’s coat.

“I’ll manage. I just…” he trailed off, and Thor used a finger to lift Loki’s chin, finally able to see his face in the light of Loki’s phone. It was tear streaked, Loki’s nose red from crying, his eyes still wet. He looked much too vulnerable.

“Come home with me. At least tonight. I don’t want to let you go.”

With a desperation that had Thor stumbling a little, Loki surged upwards and kissed him.

The kiss tasted of tears and was truly devastating, turning deep and passionate very quickly.

Hands were roaming over every bit of skin they could reach - which was limited -, fists curled into clothing, and when Loki started grinding his crotch against Thor’s, the latter thought he’d lose his mind.

“I’ll call us a cab,” Thor panted, quickly dialing the number and breathlessly calling an uber to pick them up at the docks while Loki was sucking a bruise into his neck, teeth grazing his skin.

“Fuck, you little shit,” Thor groaned when he’d ended the call and crowded the other man against the text littered wall, kissing him hard and wantonly, using Loki’s moan at feeling Thor’s erection pressed against his to push his tongue inside Loki’s mouth.

They heatedly made out for a few minutes before Thor remembered the cab. 

“Loki, we need to get going. We need to get down to the docks asap.”

He shed his coat, wrapped the young man into it, and stepped out of Loki’s grabbing range, catching his hand in his own instead.

Loki only whined in response, but Thor relentlessly tugged on his hand, clasping it tightly to not lose him or have him fall over rubble in the dark.

“Come now,” he urged him, striding towards the hole in the fence, eliciting a snarl from him.

“Fuck you, I’m right behind you.”

Thor laughed and tugged on his hand harder.

They made it to the docks just in time, getting into the uber and giving Thor’s address.

As soon as the doors were closed and the car was moving, Loki climbed into Thor’s lap, hands burying into Thor’s hair and grinding down onto the visible bulge in his pants like a dog in heat.

“Loki-” Thor tried to reason, although his hands grabbed Loki’s hips and his words had a high resemblance with a groan, but the younger man silenced him with a hungry kiss, full of tongue and teeth.

Thor was so hard that it was painful, and he counted it as a victory of his mind over his body that he didn’t simply pull down Loki’s jeans and make him sit on his cock.

How they made it into his dorm room went completely past him, but as soon as the door fell shut behind them, they were all over each other.

Layers of clothes landed in a pile on the floor, and when only their pants were left, Thor walked them towards his bed and pushed Loki down, caging him in with his knees.

“You have a tattoo,” Thor commented, Loki humming when Thor used his fingers to trace the snake that wound its way up from underneath Loki’s waistband over his side, parts disappearing from view where it meandered along his back. He remembered the photo Loki had sent him, feeling hot all over again.

After taking a moment to admire Loki’s otherwise immaculate, pale skin, he let his hands wander over his beautiful chest - much more sculpted than one could’ve guessed -, briefly stopping to rub Loki’s nipples and making him sigh under him, before he bent down to ravage his mouth.

Loki was making needy, little sounds, hips bucking up desperately and seeking friction, so Thor sat up again, moved to kneel next to him on the mattress, and made short shrift with Loki’s jeans, yanking them down impatiently, the other man kicking his legs to help him.

“Fuck,” Thor groaned lowly when he saw that he had been right this morning: Loki was indeed wearing a thong, black silk stretching tantalizingly over his hard-on. “You’re so fucking hot.”

Leaning down, he started to mouth at Loki’s cock through the fabric, lightly dragging his teeth over it and suckling on the head, soaking the cloth with his saliva.

“Yes,” Loki moaned and squirmed under him, hands tangling into the bedsheet. “Ah, Thor, please.”

“Please what,” Thor murmured, lips still teasing Loki through his underwear, hands running over his smooth legs.

“Fuck you,” was the heated reply, and Thor laughed.

“Maybe another time.”

Loki snarled, but before he could complain any further, Thor pulled the fabric to the side to free Loki’s dick, and licked a long stripe over it.

Listening to the other man’s moans and curses was music to his ears, and he relished in the fact that Loki seemed to be very vocal in bed. That was more than perfect.

Slender fingers came up to run through Thor’s golden bangs, stroking them away from his face and where they had been falling down on Loki’s body, and Thor gave him a grateful smile.

He spent a few moments kissing and licking along the velvety length, inhaling Loki’s scent and enjoying the breathy sounds the other emitted, but his own dick still sat hot and aching in his jeans, demanding his attention.

Separating from the younger one once more, Thor got up and unceremoniously shoved down his jeans and boxers, before he turned towards his nightstand to retrieve lube and a condom.

Propped up on his elbows, Loki watched him, face and neck flushed in a lovely pink and chest heaving. His legs were spread and his mouth open, and he looked so _damn horny_ that Thor felt his dick twitch.

“Come on,” he urged him when Thor had apparently spent a moment too long with staring at him.

“Be patient, you little brat,” Thor scolded him without thinking and could have kicked himself a second later, but Loki didn’t seem to be angry about it. Actually, it was quite the opposite: when Thor threw condom and lube onto the mattress and settled between his legs again, Loki spread them even further, his blush seeming to intensify, and he looked up at Thor with anticipation, eyelids heavy from arousal.

 _How can he be so perfect,_ he groaned inwardly, and leaned forward to remove the thong, planting kisses on Loki’s stomach and v-line.

While he pulled down the undergarment, following it with licks and kisses along Loki’s thighs until he reached the ankles, Thor mused that he’d love to fuck the other man while he was still wearing it, fabric only pulled to the side while Thor pounded his ass. But not tonight, he’d only risk ripping it because he wasn’t in the mood to be careful now.

Loki shifted his hips and freed his ankle from Thor’s grasp, whining impatiently.

God, he really drove Thor nuts.

“Spread your legs,” Thor ordered, and Loki complied immediately, planting his feet left and right from Thor while the latter opened the bottle of lube and squished a generous dollop into his palm. Since he wouldn’t spend much time with foreplay, he’d at least make sure to thoroughly slick the man up before he would take Thor’s dick.

Thor crawled over Loki, stroking over his hole, before he lightly pressed a finger against his entrance.

Searching the younger one’s gaze, he saw that Loki was holding his breath, propped up on his elbows again, eyes dark and full of desire.

“Relax,” was all Thor said before he pushed the finger inside.

With a throaty moan, Loki fell back into Thor’s pillow, hip jerking at the intrusion, muscles automatically clenching around Thor’s finger.

Thor felt Loki’s cock pressing against his pecs when he bent forward to suck on Loki’s nipples, drops of fluid pearling out of the head and smearing over Thor’s skin.

With practiced ease, he prepared the other man, quickly inserting a second finger when he realized that Loki could take it, and knocking his breath out when he pushed in a third, making Loki whine under him.

“That’s much better, _ah,_ much better than in my imagination,” Loki moaned, meeting the thrusts of Thor’s hand with desperately bucking hips.

When the meaning of Loki’s words had managed to pierce the haze of arousal in Thor’s brain, he groaned. The image of Loki spread open on his own fingers, fantasizing about Thor finger-fucking him, made his cock throb with need.

To release a little of the pressure, Thor started grinding against Loki’s leg.

“Thor,” Loki moaned, bucking his hips up and grabbing Thor’s shoulders; whether it was to hold on to him or push him away, neither of them could say. “Fuck me, please, I’m ready. I want to have you inside me.” In a moment of complete honesty, stripped naked and soul bared before Thor, Loki held his gaze and begged: “Make me stop thinking.”

He didn’t need to ask twice.

Withdrawing his fingers and already searching for the condom with his other hand, Thor hurried to ready himself, ripping open the package and rolling down the condom on his cock which was rock hard in his hand.

When he had coated it with the remaining lube on his fingers, Thor leaned forward, dick nudging against Loki’s fluttering hole, and bit down on the inside of Loki’s thigh.

“What-” the man yelped, but before he could finish his sentence, Thor pushed in.

Black nails were digging into Thor’s shoulders when he breached the rim, Loki making a choking sound, but still locking his feet in the small of Thor’s back and pulling him closer.

“Oh god,” he breathed, clinging to Thor when he had bottomed out.

For a few seconds, their harsh pants were the only sounds in his room.

Then, Loki demanded him to move; and Thor did.

Finally able to let out all that pent up desire, all the hours of pining during the last weeks, Thor snapped his hips forward again and again, weight resting on his elbows, caging Loki in under him.

The younger one was meeting every thrust, face contorted in pleasure.

Kissing Loki’s throat and sucking bruises into the crook of his neck, Thor let himself enjoy every push into that tight heat, but a part of him still restrained himself. He had been told before that he could be too rough, too forceful, and he didn’t want to hurt Loki. He wanted to make him feel good and safe.

“Thor,” the man breathed, and Thor’s head snapped up, studying his face.

Loki was watching him with fiery eyes, lips red and swollen from their earlier kisses.

“I can feel that you’re holding back,” he said accusatory, and Thor’s eyes widened.

Was he able to read thoughts?

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “You won’t. I want you to give me everything. You hear me?” He lifted his head and whispered, lips brushing against Thor’s ear: “Everything.”

That was all it took for Thor to lose any resemblance of control.

“Brace yourself,” he growled, and hoisted Loki’s legs up on his shoulders.

While Loki was still scrambling to press his palms against the headboard to protect his skull from hitting it, Thor started pounding him with hard, merciless thrusts.

“Fuck, _yes,_ ” the other man cried out, not able to do anything but take it.

Thor dug his fingers into the flesh of Loki’s legs, the thought of leaving marks on his unblemished skin intoxicating. He wanted to make his claim clear, to make it visible for everyone: this man was belonging to Thor.

Loki keened and moaned under him, a fine layer of sweat covering his body, making it easier for Thor to move between his thighs, making the sound of skin slapping against skin even more obscene, the faint creaking of the bed in the background.

Grunts and guttural groans clawed their way out of Thor’s throat, drops of sweat were running down his back and soaking his hair. 

He was completely lost in the sensations, in the perfection of it all, in the way he didn’t need to restrain himself and Loki would take it, even begging for more, deeper, _harder_.

When he shifted his hips, he hit Loki’s prostate, and Thor was sure that the other man’s outcry was loud enough to wake up the entire dormitory.

He grinned.

“I need,” Loki panted, but was interrupted by a hard thrust that had him see stars. “ _Please_ , I need you, I need…”

He seemed unable to finish his sentence, face scrunched up and eyes shut tightly, but Thor understood nonetheless.

Pushing one leg off his shoulder, Thor grabbed Loki’s cock and started stroking it, the movements of his hand much slower than the unrelenting thrusts of his hips.

It didn’t take long for Loki to come after that.

Pressing his hands hard against the headboard and arching his back, his body went completely rigid, and he spilled with a sob, cum splattering over his stomach and chest.

“Fuck, Thor, goddamn, god… goddammit,” he swore as he rode out his orgasm, Thor having slowed down considerably, removing his hand from Loki’s dick after giving it one last tug and kissing the thigh that still lay on his shoulder.

With a feeling in his chest that could only be described as fondness, Thor watched Loki relax his arms, stroke a few, now wavy locks out of his face that had been plastered to his forehead, and take a few shuddering breaths.

When he made eye contact with Thor again, gaze hazy and exhausted, but smiling with satisfaction, the latter’s stomach swooped as if he was a teenager again, looking down at his crush.

“Is it my turn now?” Thor asked, less to get permission than to ensure Loki was ready for it.

The younger one nodded, and sighed contently when Thor pulled out and gently turned him around, easing his cock back in and lying down on top of him.

He closed his arms around Loki, hugging him tightly to his chest, making him completely immobile. Not that the man seemed inclined to move anytime soon.

Then, Thor started to chase his own orgasm.

“Gnnnnh,” Loki keened, followed by moans and whimpers that had Thor pushing in even harder.

He buried his face in the crook of Loki’s neck and let go.

“You’re taking it so well,” he soothed when Loki jerked in his arms, whining because of the overstimulation. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thor,” he sobbed, throwing his head around. “ _Thor!_ ”

His skin was flushed in a dark pink, heat radiating from it, his back rigid as a bow, muscles clenching around Thor’s dick.

Coming closer to the edge, Thor tightened his muscles, body feeling as if it was ready to snap.

“Yes, baby. You’re so good for me. My little raven.”

A high whimper was his answer, and Loki buried his face in Thor’s arms.

Rising up from his tingling toes like a wave of heat, Thor’s orgasm finally hit.

He groaned and pumped his hips, swept away in the storm of pleasure that had him press his face against Loki’s neck, before starting to litter the other man’s neck and jaw with tender kisses.

It took him a while to come down from his high and catch his breath, his chest heaving as much as Loki’s.

Neither of them said a word, but eventually, Loki turned his head, looked at him and… laughed. It was weak and exhausted, but open and so full of delight that Thor had no other choice than joining him.

Maybe they were meant for this here.

When Thor had regained enough of his strength to push himself up, he carefully pulled out, feeling a little bad when the younger one winced. But only a little.

“My god,” Loki groaned, and Thor laughed again.

He tied the condom and threw it in the general direction of the trash can, hoping that nobody would step on it tomorrow. Then, he gave Loki’s ass cheek a loving smack, and settled down next to him.

“Ouch,” Loki grumbled with a hilarious delay, still face down on the mattress. “You monster.”

Snorting, Thor wriggled around to get the blanket out from under them, pulling Loki half against him and half on top before tucking him in.

He only got a hum as reaction, the man apparently already drifting off to sleep, and suddenly, Thor remembered that Loki hadn’t slept at all the night before. It was impressive that he had even managed to stay awake for that long.

“Sleep, Loki. I’ve got you,” he whispered, raking his fingers through Loki’s damp, black waves and pressing another kiss to his forehead, but this time, there was no other reply than Loki’s deep, steady breathing.

Yawning, Thor closed his eyes. The exhaustion of the past two days - and their recent activities - was finally crashing down on him, and only moments later, he was fast asleep, arms curling protectively around the pliant lump on his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, my lovely thorks!
> 
> If you liked it so far, I'd be super excited if you would leave a little comment, and I hereby solemnly promise that I'll reply to every single one asap!
> 
> Find me on twitter, it's justanotherhumanbeing.
> 
> Love ya!  
> And don't forget: thorki good


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